Inside: Senior year comes at you like the wildest roller coaster ride. Here’s how you and your senior can survive and thrive until graduation.
The school year is fast approaching, and for some students, the final year of high school is here!
No matter what your senior plans to do after school, many parents feel like it’s a long goodbye.
As a 20-year veteran teacher of seniors, I’ve seen families battle the internal conflict between sheer excitement and total fear of the end of an era.
Senior year often starts with finishing college essays, completing college apps, and making what feels like major decisions on what to do next. For many, that means leaving for college, studying a trade, entering the workforce, or joining the military.
Moving beyond high school can be a tumultuous time. Students often feel extreme pressure to have all the answers, and parents often feel a mix of relief, worry, pride, and sadness as this academic milestone comes to a close.
With emotions running high, it’s easy for parents to find their teens more irritable than usual, withdrawn, or quickly frustrated by reminders, questions, or attempts to discuss post-high school plans (senioritis is real!)
How can parents support their teens during their senior year?
Here are a few tips for parents on how you can help ease the senior year frenzy and hopefully be a safe, comforting part of the process:
First and foremost, welcome fear! If you see your high school senior expressing worry or if they seem a little scared about the future, remember that this emotion signals deep passion and care for the next step. Remind your high school senior that fear of the unknown is normal.
Acknowledging this emotion as a place they’ve been before and navigated through allows them to face challenges and find the courage to stand on fragile ground again.
Remind seniors that fear can provide strength to take risks and find answers to life’s biggest questions. They were probably scared to start high school just four years ago.
Recognizing your fear as a parent is important as well. It can be overwhelming to think about dropping your baby off at college, supporting their dream of enlisting, or staying calm as they may be deciding to take a financial risk to start a business or take a year off to figure out what to do next.
Do your best to remember that your fear shouldn’t hold your student back from going after a fulfilling future.Try finding an outlet to help you deal with your emotions, such as keeping a journal to vent or finding a friend facing the same uncertainty.
Just like your student will find comfort in the support they find at school, with friends, teachers, and school counselors, you also need to find a supportive space.
Take a pause. It’s easy to react with panic or anger when your student announces what you consider an outlandish post-high school plan. You may hear many ideas like,
I’ll just chill for a year…
Backpacking around Europe sounds cool.
I’ve always wondered about van life.
Maybe I’ll become a marine…
Or, I’m not sure I want to go back to school at all.
Before reacting, listen, breathe, and let it go. Give your students time to explore ideas, and be supportive as the plan becomes clear. Reacting to every whim doesn’t work when they are toddlers, and it sure doesn’t work now.
Be open to THEIR journey. This is a tough one for most parents because we want to know our children will be safe and successful.
Their journey will not look like yours. Spoiler: our graduates will fail, succeed, fail, and succeed again.
In fact, many paths our seniors will take were not even possibilities for us. The world is constantly changing, so support the change and possibility as it comes. Aptitude tests, career counselors, evaluation of coursework, and interest tests are all great ways to uncover future goals. Try to stand back and let them enjoy the ride. (Editors at Parenting Teens and Tweens love this book, What Color Is Your Parachute for College Students.)
Recalibrate when necessary. Stress often comes when seniors feel the weight of committing to post-graduation decisions. This weight also brings extreme doubt and worry.
The “what if” questions are common, and it’s helpful for seniors to know that the choices they make at 17 or 18 years old do not need to determine the rest of their lives. Downplaying the severity of initial choices and welcoming possible changes will help ease the tension for both of you!
College transfers are made, majors are changed, and people switch careers every day. The best any of us can do is make sound, informed decisions and hope for the best. Post-high school planning is no different.
Practice gratitude and share your gratitude as much as possible. As you step day by day closer to the next chapter of parenthood, be mindful of how far you have come. As a parent, there are so many days when it’s easy to doubt if you will survive the wild ride that comes with raising children.
It is time to enjoy this victory. You both made it to graduation! The future is wide open, and the possibilities are endless. Celebrate the joy of sending your little one off to school for the first time, and now cheer as they take on the world.
Congrats mom and dad, you did it too!
This is a contributed post by Melissa Pyrch, author of Beyond the Bell, 12 Lessons for Navigating Your Life After High School. As an author, teacher, mom of three boys, and wife to a Yonkers Fire Captain, Melissa lives her biggest dream every day when the bell rings. She has taught high school English in New York State for over two decades and you can find her on Instagram at @Pyrchgetspublished. The highlight of her career is helping students craft college essays that reflect their truths. This experience opened her eyes to understanding the simple key to connecting with teens. Her approach: listen, acknowledge their challenges, and push them out of their comfort zones so they can fly.
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