Every parent of a teen driver dreads the call that starts, “I’ve been in a car accident,” but it can also be an opportunity for them to shine.
Have you gotten the call?
The one where your newly minted driver phones to tell you they just got into a car accident?
If you have, it’s something you’ll surely never forget.
In fact, you could probably tell me exactly where you were or what you were doing when you got that call.
Related: Five Simple Tips for Parents to Help Your Teens Become Safe Drivers
Nothing prepares you for how you will feel when your teen driver gets into a car accident.
It happened to me recently. But in my case, it was a text: “Some old dude just hit me.”
It wasn’t immediately clear if my teen got into a slugfest with someone over 25 (what he considers “old”), but my immediate phone call cleared it up.
An octogenarian (we later learned) in a big pick-up truck pulled out of a gas station and plowed right into my son’s Honda sedan.
My kid emphatically reassured me, “Don’t come out here. I got this, mama.”
And he really did.
It’s hard to know what your teen can handle
Though every fiber of my being wanted to rush the few miles over to where he was pacing the sidewalk, I forced myself to stay put, clutching my phone in sweaty palms.
He knew I was waiting in the wings if he needed backup. But right now, he neither needed nor wanted his mommy on the scene.
And isn’t that the kicker when you’re parenting a teenager?
You want them to be independent. You want them to handle the tough stuff. You don’t want them running to you to solve every one of their problems.
And yet. It’s so very hard to stand in the wings, grinding your teeth and staring at your device, just waiting to be called to center stage.
In our case, my son is comfortable taking the lead. In fact, he shines in a crisis, having come to MY rescue when I was in a car accident.
And a few years ago, when we were in the ER for his head injury, he calmed me down, as he was bleeding all over the place, telling me he would be “just fine” and that “scars are cool.”
But back to the recent car accident. My son recounts that he immediately went to the other driver, (ahem “the old guy”) to ensure he was OK. He called the man “sir” and tried to be polite.
However, the older gentleman refused to give his name or insurance information, so my son dialed 9-1-1 without hesitation, and an officer quickly arrived on the scene.
This teenager of mine had his license, registration, and insurance card at the ready, and he recounted all the pertinent information to the police officer.
He took photos and confirmed that he’d be able to drive his car home. He took the officer’s business card and asked how to get a copy of the police report, which he did, by himself the very next day. In fact, the woman at the police records desk waived the usual fee, impressed at this high schooler’s initiative.
He did, however, let his mama help a little bit while filing the insurance claim.
My kid then called around to repair shops recommended by friends, made an appointment, and took the car for a damage estimate, which he made sure to get a copy of.
All. By. Himself.
My teenage self could never have handled all this, especially with the poise and maturity he embodied. Never, ever.
No way.
Related: Put These 11 Things in Your Teen’s Car for Peace of Mind
Sometimes when given the opportunity, our teens will surprise us
But situations like these show you what you’re made of. What you’re capable of.
Bad stuff is going to happen. But it’s how you handle it that matters. (Don’t we say that all the time to our kids?)
So, yes. My teenage son was in a car wreck. It scared me and upset him, and it’s a pain to deal with the aftermath, such a pain!
But he did all the right things.
He remembered what I’d told him and what he’d learned in driver’s ed.
He kept his cool, even though he was deeply upset over the damage to his car, otherwise known as his “baby.”
He used his common sense, street smarts, and all his manners.
I got the call (okay, the text) that I surely never wanted to get.
And, gosh, I am so proud of my teenager for what happened next.
Do you have a new teen driver? You may like this printable driver contract available here: New Driver Contract.
What to tell your teen if they get into a car accident:
Do you have a new teen driver? Here are a few handy tips so they know how to handle a car accident:
First, assess if there are any injuries. Instruct your teen driver to call 911 if anyone appears hurt or injured. Some states require you to call 911 to report accidents, so make sure you know the law.
Move to a safe place. If possible, move your vehicle off to the side or to a close parking lot. If unable to move their car, make sure they know to turn on their hazards and move to a safe place to avoid additional traffic incidents.
Don’t discuss blame. Many teens immediately want to take responsibility for an accident even when it’s not their fault. Tell them not to discuss the accident specifically (but do ensure the other driver is okay and be polite.)
Exchange information: Take a photo or write down the other person’s licence and insurance information. If possible, snap a photo of the other vehicle’s license plate.
Take photos of all vehicles. If possible, take photos of all individuals and vehicles involved, including any damage to cars or property. It’s also a good idea to take photos of road signs, traffic signals, etc. so they can remember details later for insurance purposes.
Call your insurance agent. Even if you don’t have all the information yet, such as a police report or damage assessment, let your insurance company know you’ve had an accident and will be making a claim.
If needed, call a tow truck or mechanic. It’s good to have the name of a reputable towing company and mechanic on hand in the instance an accident happens. You can never be too prepared.
Parenting teens and tweens is hard. You may like these other posts:
I Just Watched My Heart Drive Away For The First Time And I’m Not Ready
5 simple things you need to keep doing when your kids are teens
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