Parenting in the Influencer Age of Toxic Social Media

The following is a contributed post from Dr. Charlotte Markey, author of Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life.

Parents often ask me what they should, “do about social media,” in the context of wanting to help their tweens and teens develop a positive body image. There is an awareness that social media may be detrimental to young people’s feelings of body positivity, but given that most parents did not grow up using social media, they don’t feel well-equipped to know how to address these issues with their kids. Here’s what research suggests are some of the body image concerns related to social media—and some solutions to these problems.

3 Ways Social Media Use Can Damage Body Image

1. Presenting unrealistic appearance ideals

Social media presents just a thin slice of real life—with a large side helping that makes liberal use of filters, editing, and unrealistic imagery. Research makes it clear that looking at “perfect” people that we’ll never look like can increase our body dissatisfaction, decrease our mood, and may even affect our eating habits and mental health in general.

2. Social comparison

One of the primary reasons that social media can have a damaging effect on body image and self-esteem is that we compare ourselves to the images and lifestyles we see splashed across these platforms. It is completely human and normal to engage in social comparison—and feel that we fall short as we mindlessly scroll Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok.

3. Presenting our appearance as a “project”

Too much time on social media could lead anyone to believe that our bodies are endless projects we must work on. Advertisements, influencers, and celebrities present all sorts of products and plans that we may be tempted to pursue, leading to an overall negative body image versus a positive one.

3 Things Parents Can Do to Mitigate this Negative Impact

1. Question ideals and values

To help keep tweens and teens from being harmed by social media, we need to help them question the appearance ideals and general values shared on these platforms. This means talking with young people about what we value most about others, whether that be their personalities, ability to make us laugh, or compassion towards others.

We may be drawn to pretty people, but pretty people without other appealing qualities are apt to bore us in real life. We need to help the young people in our lives appreciate that there is far more too life than great hair and toned abs.

2. Talk about media literacy

Young people get a lot of their news and information from social media platforms like TikTok. We need to teach tweens and teens to approach any information they come across in these spaces with skepticism. We can encourage the young people in our lives to verify information they see online with us and help them learn to look for reliable sources to confirm the accuracy of what they see on social media (e.g., trusted news sites, original research articles).

We should also talk with the tweens and teens in our lives about social media algorithms, and ways they can adjust their algorithms. In short, when tweens and teens look at videos or posts, “like” content, and follow other users, they tell these platforms what they like, and they get more of that content. They can get higher quality content, which will lead to positive effects on their wellbeing, from reliable sources by engaging with that content.

By explaining this explicitly, we can help young people shape the content that they see. Tweens and teens who see body positive influencers, social justice activists, and mental health advocates in their newsfeeds are less apt to suffer harm to their body image.

3. Foster embodiment

Embodiment is a term used to describe comfort in one’s body and the sense of being connected to, able to enjoy, and prioritizing respect for one’s body. We can foster tweens and teens’ embodiment by encouraging them to trust their bodies and stressing the importance of taking care of their bodies. This can be surprisingly difficult for all of us to do because we are bombarded with inaccurate and conflicting health and wellness information on social media platforms.

As adults, we can model embodiment in how we talk about and treat our own bodies. Are we proud of our bodies? Do we engage in physical activity that we enjoy? Do we nourish our bodies and model enjoyment of food? Do we get enough sleep and avoid abusing substances like drugs and alcohol?

Our bodies are the homes that we live in for our entire lives. There may be no official handbook for our individual bodies, but social media rarely offers the answers we’re looking for to develop a positive body image.

Looking for more help in facing body image issues with your teens?

Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life and the other books in The Body Image Book series by Dr. Charlotte Markey are intended to help readers understand the nuance surrounding these topics and guide them toward a sense of comfort in their own skin and body satisfaction.