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Gifts For Teens They’ll Actually Like!

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I have a teen boy and a tween girl and then we won’t even talk about al the tweens and teens in my extended family. So when it comes to finding just the right gifts for teens, I’ve become a pro! I’ve had these sweet (and sometimes surly) teenage girls and teenage boys in my life school me on their likes, wants and needs to help me put together a great list of gifts for teens to make your shopping so much easier.

 

 

 

Gifts for Teens

Gifts for Teens They’ll Actually Like (no eyerolls here)

Whether your looking for gifts for teenage girls or gifts for teen boys, it can feel a bit like a minefield trying to find them something they’ll really like. Whether it’s birthday gift or christmas gifts for teens, don’t get stressed out. There are tons of choices out there if you know just who to ask. And with a team of teens to lead the way, here are some of the ideas they suggested.

Gifts for Teens Under $10

Money Maze
Bluetooth Beanie
Leather Writing Journal
Mobile Game Controller
Hair Chalk

Gifts for Teens Under $25

Vertical Vortex
WINSTION iPhone Stand Charging Dock
Foldable Keyboard
Soundbot Bluetooth Beanie
Boom Bowl Cell Phone Amplifier

Gifts for Teens Under $50

Bluetooth Banana Phone
22″ Galaxy Skateboard
Ice Cream Ball
Smart Water Bottle

Gifts for Teens Under $100

Capture the Flag Redux
Nintendo Mini: Super Nintendo
6″ Kindle
Wired Beats by Dre
EcoSphere Closed Aquatic Ecosystem

If this still isn’t enough to choose from, don’t worry there’s more ideas for gifts for teens coming your way.  Pick the one that suits your kid and no doubt you’ll find them something they can’t live without.

Gifts for Teen Boys

Gifts for Teen Girls

Why Going Rogue Can Be the Best Way to Parent Your Teen

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Almost 13 years ago, as I stared down at this newborn baby boy with his stormy blue eyes and this crazy Mohawk of white blonde hair shooting up from his head, I truly thought I had things under control.

I’d read ALL the books, and visited ALL the parenting websites, and subscribed to ALL the magazines. I’d done my research and I was a woman with a plan.

He was going to eat every X number of hours, and nap every X number of hours, and we would follow a routine and he’d be sleeping through the night in no time.

It took me less than 48 hours to figure out this kid was not on board with my plan, not even one little bit. The blonde Mohawk should have tipped me off from the get go.

This kid was going rogue….

why going rogue may be the best way to parent your teens

 

The battle that went down the next few years was epic. I was determined to enforce my preconceived set of rules and he was determined to defy me on every front.

Until one day, the universe staged an intervention.

During the middle of yet another one of my struggles to get him to bend to my will, see things my way and comply, I realized taking on my toddler was ridiculous.

“Screw the Rules!” I said out loud to myself.

I wasn’t prepared to spend the next 18 years at war with my baby boy. So, I needed to change my strategy.

If he could go rogue, then so could I.

Being consistent is the mantra of all the parenting experts. And while it is important, it doesn’t mean that we can’t admit when something just isn’t working and change course.

There is a reason kids don’t come with instructional manuals.

There is no standard operating procedure for these mini-humans. Every single one is unique at birth and they are constantly changing. Who they were today, may not be who they are tomorrow and who they are tomorrow may not be who they are next week.

Oh, and at no time is this more true than the tween and teen years.

You want to talk about going rogue?

Hormones, growth spurts, peer pressure and the intensifying struggle between remaining a child while at the same time forging their path to independence can make our kids seem like crazy people.

Rules and boundaries remain a foundation of our parenting, because boy will they be putting them to the test. But we also need to maintain a level of flexibility that allows us to recognize when the rules need to bend and boundaries needs to be moved.

We have to be willing to relinquish some control.

We have to be willing to acknowledge when maybe our kid is just wired a little differently.

We have to be willing to accept that parenting doesn’t come in one size fits all. 

Now that they are older, instead of talking at them, we need to talk with them and we need to listen. Sometimes it will be irrational jibberish coming out of their mouths, but on occasion there is wisdom.

They are beginning to really understand who they are and what makes them tick and it can mean that we’re reaching a point where sometimes they know themselves better than we do.

Way back then when I decided that it was time to “screw the rules,” it meant trusting myself.

Now, it means trusting him.

looking for a some more advice, tips and support to get you through these teen years?

Middle School, The Hardest Years of Your Life As A Mom (So Far)

How To Have A More Peaceful Relationship With Your Teen; Guaranteed

Help! I’m Raising Teenagers and My Village Disappeared

 

How To Identify Why Your Teenage Daughter Has Anxiety

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Dealing with anxiety at any age is challenging. But for a teenage girl, it can be particularly brutal.

If you’ve personally battled anxiety at any point in time in your life, then you know those feelings that can slowly start to creep in and cause your entire mind, heart, and soul to feel as though it’s one edge.

Now, take those feelings that you are having or have had in the past, and imagine those feelings being the same ones that your teenage daughter is experiencing.

Makes it a little bit more relatable when it’s broken down on that level, right?

There can be many reasons why your teen daughter may have anxiety, and as a parent, it’s important for you to find the best way to be there for her.

Reasons why your teen daughter may have anxiety

Why Your Teen Daughter May Have Anxiety

Understanding why your teen daughter may have anxiety is important and here are some key factors that could be causing those feelings and emotions in her everyday life. Once you’ve identified the source, then you can better address what she is dealing with and how to help her.

Fear of failure

The teenage years can be an extremely stressful time. Not only are they fighting through hormones, emotions, and the daily struggle of being understood, but they are also heavily focused on ensuring their grades and extracurricular activities will position them well for college admissions.

The fear of failing can be a huge factor in why your teen daughter may have anxiety. It’s a lot of pressure trying to keep track of everything going on in their daily teenage life.

related: teen test taking anxiety- strategies to help them cope

Loss of friends

We don’t always want to admit it, but adolescent girls can start to become quite cruel once they enter the middle and high school years. Your teen daughter may be involved with a group of friends where their interpersonal relationships go through many ups and downs.

If your daughter is fearful of losing her “inner circle”, that uncertainty can become a real source of insecurity and anxiety.

Hormones

With just that one word, everything changes. Hormones can cause a roller coaster of emotions for your teen daughter on a daily basis. One day, everything may be perfect and the next…? Who really knows and especially not her.

All of this can be scary and confusing for her and she may not fully understand what is happening.  When she’s suddenly crying for no reason or having difficulty coping with situations that never use to phase her, she may think there is something really wrong with her.

Plus, hormones in general just dial up emotions and can make what ever she’s going through seem that much more intense.

Related: How To Teach Your Tween Daughter About Puberty (and the important topics we forget)

Inability to Self-Calm

If your teen daughter seems to have heightened anxiety during a lot of different situations, there may be a good chance that she’s never learned how to properly self-calm herself. This is not some kind of failure on your part and is extremely common. We’re not a culture that is very good at teaching our young people about self-care. And it’s part of why as mother’s we struggle with many of these same issues.

Self care is one of the most important lessons we can teach our teens.  It also doesn’t hurt to give them some practical tools that can help right in the moment like deep breathing techniques or positive self-talk.  Our daughters often just need a few coping skills that they can turn to when they’re feeling anxious and stressed.

Related: Teen Anxiety; 5 Ways To Help Your Teen Cope

Relationship Issues

Dating is pretty much inevitable once your daughter reaches high school. While some girls get more serious than others, it can become a source of ongoing angst in her life. The complexity of first love can be extremely difficult terrain for most teenage girls to navigate.

Whether your daughter is going through relationship issues or is dealing with a breakup, both situations can create anxiety. It’s all new to her and all these feelings can be overwhelming and confusing.

It’s Not Always Just One Thing

Now here is the hard part, many times it isn’t just one of these reasons causing your daughter to feel anxious, but several of them.

As a parent, it’s important to learn how to recognize all the different contributing factors and then figure out the the best way possible to be there for her. In some cases, she may simply just need you to listen and offer a hug and little sympathy.  Other times, it may be better to let her be so she can process things on her own.

Yes, it is okay to give our teens some space so they can struggle and solve their issues independently. That is part of growing-up. But when you feel like things are going beyond just typical teenage troubles, then you may need to sit them down and have a bigger conversation.

Related: How to Talk to Your Teen About Anxiety and Stress

And don’t rule out seeking professional help.  It takes courage to take this step, and there is no reason for them or you to feel ashamed. Life for teens today isn’t easy and mental health issues among our young people are skyrocketing.  Addressing your daughter’s issues early and with the right resources gives her the best chance at a healthy and successful future.

Parenting teens and tweens is a tough job, but you’re not alone and there are tons of posts here to help you:

Signs Of Teen Anxiety All Parents Need To Look Out For

It’s Hard to Be Fifteen

How To Best Support Your Teens When They Need It Most

Why Self Care Is One Of The Most Important Lessons We Can Teach Our Teens

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My teenage daughter is a swimmer. She has had a passion for the sport since she was in 4th grade and her commitment and dedication has been unwavering.

Athletes put a lot of weight on their coach’s opinions and my girl is a ‘do-gooder’ and a ‘people-pleaser’, and a ‘rule-follower’, so she will do just about anything not to miss a practice, and if she does, it’s for a good reason.

After weeks of a grueling new training schedule, I could tell she was getting run down.

In just a few days we were leaving for a long weekend at an out of town swim meet where she would be swimming 17 events over three days. As I went into her room at 5:00 am to wake her up for practice, it hit me: She needed her sleep more than she needed to train.

I asked her if she could miss this practice so she could get a some much needed rest before the big weekend. She opened her eyes and groggily said, “Well, I haven’t missed one yet. Yeah, okay.” And rolled back over to sleep.

I offered her an option to take care of herself instead of going to practice. It was the right thing to do. Unfortunately, her coach thought otherwise and told her she should have gone to practice.

 

Why It's So Important To Teach Our Teens About Self Care

But this is why self care is one of the most important lessons we can teach our teens

Often other people’s opinions of what we should do are based on their own motivations. Rarely are people looking out for what’s in our best interests, especially if it is counter to their agenda.

I don’t believe my daughter’s coach was in any way intentionally trying to act against what was right for her. He simply was running his team the way he felt was best. He was focused on the group as a whole and helping them to become better swimmers and to perform well at their upcoming meet. Not my daughter’s individual needs.

What my daughter really needed was more sleep.  At the rate she was going, she was either going to end up sick or would be so exhausted she would let herself and her team down.

I realized my daughter needed to learn that there are times when you have to put yourself first. When you have to listen to your own body’s signals. The world only has one setting: Go Go Go.  But sometimes it’s okay for our teens to push the pause button.

We need to teach our tweens and teens how to take care of themselves.

There is so much pressure on them to perform, to keep pushing through every day no matter how tired, sick, or injured they are.

And in today’s world, it’s in almost every area of their lives from academics, to sports and any other activities that are important to them. Plus, they are constantly being asked to meet everyone’s expectations; teachers, coaches, friends, romantic partners and parents.

Our teens worry about losing friends or facing harsh consequences for choosing to put their health before all these pressures and expectations.

It’s no wonder there is an epidemic of stress and anxiety among our young people.

We think of self-care as an adult issue.

But it is increasingly one that effects our tweens and teens.

They need to develop the ability to discern what is best for them in a world that rarely offers them that choice.

They need to understand that taking care of themselves is a lifelong mission that needs to be a priority.

Because when they don’t put their physical health and well-being first, there can be serious consequences.  Often consequences that are far worse than those they fear for not doing it.

It’s also about developing self-confidence

Making their physical and mental health a priority in their lives isn’t always convenient, especially for other people.

Sometimes putting themselves first means letting others down.

People won’t always agree with them, and they might even get angry with them.

That is okay.

Our tweens and teens need to learn to tune out other’s voices and trust the one inside their own head telling them they need to slow down.  They have to be strong enough even under extreme pressure to please others and ‘show up’, to honor their needs.

There are times when caring for their own well-being is more important than facing disappointment from others.

Giving our teens the tools now to begin balancing their own needs with those of others will be invaluable.

And let’s be real, the demands from others will only increase as they get older.

Bosses, spouses and children will all want to be put first all the time.  It’s something so many adults struggle to manage.

I know I do.

It takes time and practice to learn these valuable lessons about self-care, which is why I wanted to start teaching my daughter now.

She was eventually able to work through her worries about her coach’s opinion and feel assured that she made the right choice for her health.

But there here will be many more decisions like this one ahead, some much more difficult.  She will have to learn to pay close attention to her mental and physical well-being, so she can make these hard choices on her own.

But until then, I’ll keep reinforcing this important lesson in her life, but also by being a better role model when it comes to self-care in my own life.

This post was contributed by Christine Carter who writes at TheMomCafe.com, where she hopes to encourage mothers everywhere through her humor, inspiration, and faith. Her work is published on several various online publications as well. She is the author of “Help and Hope While You’re Healing: A woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness.”

Parenting Teens and Tweens is hard work, but we’ve got more help, encouragement and support for you:

Teen Anxiety; 5 Ways To Help Your Teen Cope

Middle School, The Hardest Years of Your Life As A Mom (So Far)

How To Best Support Your Teens When They Need It Most

It’s Hard to Be Fifteen

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It’s hard to be fifteen.

You will recognize these teens by their pimply faces, tired eyes and reluctant smiles. At fifteen, our teens are staying up too late and getting up too early and drowning in homework and groaning about chores.

They live in the world of heavy backpacks and scattered books, messy rooms, and stinky socks. They can be snarky and sneaky, sullen and sassy. They can be hilarious and heart-warming, outrageous and brave.

But most of all, our fifteen-year-olds are on a wobbly wavering road toward adulthood and they often feel overwhelmed, overworked, and over-tired. And on the very bad days, they are simply over it all.

Being 15 Is Hard

It’s hard to be fifteen.

At fifteen, our teens are settling into the teen years and yet they believe they are on the brink of something bigger, something better. Holding that steering wheel for the first time brings the hope of freedom and they are itching to get on the road. But with freedom comes responsibility, expectations, and limits.

Although every age is full of growing pains and big steps forward, fifteen is the stepping stone that opens up the pressure of preparing for the years ahead while they’re still trying to figure out how to get through the day.

At fifteen, the high school halls get more familiar, yet the pressure builds with hard classes and full schedules, while they worry about grades and having a college plan (or not). The emphasis on college and career comes early and they are expected to map out their high school years with diligent direction and prepare for the upcoming ACT or SAT tests.

Their future is looming ahead and high school forces them to face it, despite not knowing what they want to do.

It’s hard to be fifteen.

At fifteen, their bodies are still changing and their hormones are raging. The comparison trap is constant.  They’re wrought with insecurity, jealousy, and questioning if they’ll ever be as pretty, popular, athletic, smart as them.

Fifteen can be isolating and lonely, with a desperate need for connection and affirmation. They reach for their phones and hole up in their rooms and search for validation in likes and comments on social media.

It’s these years where their hearts can ache and emotions spin, where friendships flourish or painfully end.

It’s hard to be fifteen.

At fifteen the world is opening up around them as they discover new ideas, perspectives, and beliefs. It can be scary and confusing and anxiety producing, because my gosh, there are hard things to learn.

At fifteen, there is experimenting and exploring as their small protected world continues to expand into uncharted territory. They will be surrounded by more opportunities for trying drugs, alcohol, sex, and there’s intense pressure to fit in from their peers through it all.

Making smart choices becomes harder and harder to do. And sometimes this can lead them to be erratic, impulsive, and reckless, resulting in messy mistakes, harsh consequences, and tough lessons learned.

It’s hard to be fifteen.

At fifteen, our teens are wanting their independence, but still needing help. They desperately want to do their own thing, go anywhere they want, and they will sometimes do just about anything to accomplish it.

But really, at this age, our kids are struggling to learn how to grow-up.

They are on the precipice of the open road with their sweaty hands on the wheel, simply wondering how to navigate it on their own. They pretend like they know what they are doing, but often they don’t have a clue.

It’s an endless struggle within, as they wander through the torments of transition between childhood and adulthood. They secretly still have the needs of a child but don’t want to admit it. They are trying to detach from dependence so they resist and may even rebel.

It’s so hard to be fifteen.

At fifteen, they are developing their unique personality, fine-tuning their appearance, and discovering their strengths, their passions and their voice. They are trying new things and realizing new dreams. It’s exciting and dramatic and oh so very emotional(for them and us).

But it’s also fun and inspiring and empowering. It’s building character and forming morals while smoothing out the rocks on the road to lay a firm foundation for years to come. It’s an awakening of self-worth and learning new skills. It’s trying and failing and finding the strength to get back up and try again.

Fifteen is the year where change takes flight on the wings of courage as our kids boldly step through their fears onto the runway of life. Full speed ahead. There’s no turning back.

Take off is near.

Destination unclear.

But this is the year they learn how to fly.

his post was contributed by Christine Carter who writes at TheMomCafe.com, where she hopes to encourage mothers everywhere through her humor, inspiration, and faith. Her work is published on several various online publications as well. She is the author of “Help and Hope While You’re Healing: A woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness.”

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Parents: You Need To Talk To Your Teens About Sexting – Now!

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Back in the day, flirting was in person or via passed notes. Or maybe you slipped a message into someone’s locker. Or asked your friend to ask their friend if, you know, they kinda liked you….

For teens and tweens today, it’s the same, except with technology thrown in. Teens’ communication, including flirting, is mostly done on their cell phones. Which is fine…until it’s not. When text flirting gets downright sexy, things can get more complicated—especially when sexual images get into the mix.

Sexting can easily get out of control in ways old-fashioned flirting didn’t. That’s why it’s so important for parents to talk about sexting with teens and tweens.

“But how do I do that?” you’re probably asking. And when.. and what about exactly?

This is all so new and no other generation of parents has had to deal with this. Aren’t we the lucky ones. But just like some of those other awkward conversations we have with our teens and tweens, you simply take a deep breath and begin.

Here are some tips and talking points to help get you started:

 

how to talk to your teens about sexting

 

Parents, You Need To Talk To Your Teens About Sexting – Now!

 

Texting Starts Early

You might think that sexting is a big deal among high schoolers. But actually, it often starts in middle school. Preteens may have plenty of hormones going but not so much judgment.

They quickly learn that sending and especially receiving sexy texts is not only exciting but may have social benefits. The risks and possible long-term consequences aren’t even on their radar. That’s why it’s important that parents start talking about sexting while kids are quite young.

Why Kids Sext

Sexts can be sent to and from people of any gender. But by far the most common situation among young people is a girl sending a sext to a boy, so that’s what I’ll focus on here.

These are the main reasons kids sext:

Personal – Let’s be honest: It feels powerful and exciting to feel sexy. That’s as true for teens as it is for any adult. Kids may want to experiment with taking sexy selfies. If it never leaves their phone, that’s not such a bad thing.

Relational – When two teens are dating, one may send the other a sexy image as a personal gift.

Social status – Girls sometimes send a sext to an older or cooler guy she’s trying to impress. Maybe she’s hoping to date him, or to improve her social status by being “hot” enough to merit his attention. Sometimes a girl or her trying-to-be-helpful friends may initiate this. Sometimes girls are cajoled or pressured to send sexts.

How Sexting Can Go Wrong

The problem with sexting is that once a picture leaves someone’s phone, she loses control of it. It can be shared among a group of guys, around the whole school, or out in the wide world.

How an image intended for one person can get into the wrong hands depends on whom the sext is sent to:

A sexual predator – The most frightening scenario is when a teen or preteen sends a sexual image to someone they haven’t met in real life. Sexual predators often pretend to be close to the target’s age. They work slowly to win the kid’s trust and then start to ask for relatively small sexy favors, like a photo showing part of her bra. From there, the requests escalate. Any sexts received by a sexual predator have a good chance of being shared with other kiddie-porn users—including internationally, where they’re beyond the reach of U.S. law enforcement. It’s a horrible situation.

A cool guy she knows – The problem with sending a sext to impress someone is that for the recipient, the sext is likely to be a trophy—which has value only when he shows it off or shares it with other guys. The image she intended for his eyes only may be on dozens of guys’ phones by lunchtime.

A boyfriend – There are risks sexting even to someone you trust. Even a decent guy may get upset if the relationship ends and lash out impulsively by sharing a sext. Or one of his friends may stumble across the image and pass it along.

Make sure your teens understand: Once an image leaves their phone, they have no control over who might see it. It might go to every kid at their school or to creeps around the world.

Legal Risks, Too

Yes, there are laws on sending inappropriate pictures via text.

In some states, a young teen sending a sext could be charged with creating child pornography and the recipient can be charged with possession of child porn (even if they didn’t request the picture). Yes, really.

Some states are starting to change these laws so that misguided teens don’t get charged with felonies and labeled sex offenders. But teens should be told that there can be real, serious consequences of sending inappropriate pictures (Try explaining the images or the charges to a college admissions officer, for instance.)

If your child receives a sext, my law-enforcement sources tell me, their safest move legally is to immediately contact the authorities. The image might be needed to investigate criminal activity or protect someone who’s being mistreated. Hiding and especially sharing images increases the risk of your child getting in trouble. This is not a situation that kids can handle on their own.

It’s Not OK to Pressure Someone

This should be obvious, but make sure your kid knows it’s not okay to pressure someone to send a sext. Just as with any form of sexual activity, the other person must be fully willing to consent. If they’re not, back off.

Tell them that for you, it’s a matter of respect. And if they’re old enough to have technology, they must show they’re old enough to use it responsibly.

Not Just Scare Tactics

So, there are real risks to sexting. It’s scary to think about your kid doing something impulsive and paying a high price later. But if you freak out about sexting and come on too strong about the risks, kids may tune you out.

Instead, ask what they know about sexting and what they’ve seen at school. Do they know of guys who show off sexts? Have they heard about girls getting embarrassed because a sext was shared? If any towns near you have had a sexting scandal, show kids news articles to bring home that yes, this really does happen.

Also, acknowledge the fun, flirty aspect of sexting. Because it is pretty exciting. Then point out that this particular form of flirting has risks that, on balance, just aren’t worth it.

This post was contributed by Jill Whitney, LMFT. She is the mom of two twenty-somethings and a licensed marriage and family therapist in Connecticut. In addition to her clinical work, she conducts workshops on talking about sexuality, writes at KeepTheTalkGoing.com, and has been quoted in dozens of articles on relationships and sexuality. She’s passionate about improving communication about sexuality, especially between parents and kids.

Parenting Tweens and Teens isn’t easy, but we’ve got more posts to help you:

Yes! Your Teen Actually Wants To Talk With You About SEX

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Apps For Supporting Your Teen To Use Their Cell Phone Responsibly

Cell Phone Contract And Rules for Teens

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“Why can’t I have a cell phone? Everyone else in my class has one!”

Sound familiar?

This is the complaint of every tween or teen in America who has parents still holding out on handing over a the most coveted item of their generation – a cell phone.

If you’ve been delaying this new parenting milestone, no one can blame you.

The stories about online predators, sexting, and cyber-bullying are scary. These are certainly reasons for parents to pause before stepping into this tricky tech terrain.

But once you’ve decided your tween or teen is ready for a cell phone, there are some important steps you can take to make sure they use it safely and responsibly. These include establishing cell phone rules for your teen and setting up a family cell phone agreement.

No, this doesn’t mean your being a helicopter parent or that you don’t trust them.  You’re just being a smart and tech savvy parent who understands the real risks that come with handing your tween or teen a device that has far more power than lots of parents realize.

If you aren’t sure where to get started, here are some resources to help make this a simple and (fairly) painless process.

cell phone contract and rules for teens

Cell Phone Contract And Rules For Teens

Giving your tween or teen is a privilege, it’s not something they are entitled to. Although, many teens today would disagree.

With any privilege should come some clear expectations of what kind of behaviors are required for keeping that privilege.  This helps establish boundaries and all kids need and actually appreciate boundaries.  When they know what they should or shouldn’t be doing and what the consequences are when rules aren’t followed that makes life more predictable for them.

It’s important to first have a discussion with them about responsible cell phone use. And then have them sign a cell phone contract. You’ll find a free printable one available at the end of this post for your use to make it easy peasy.  A teen cell phone contract can sound pretty formal and unnecessary, but it ensures they are taking the responsibility seriously and can alleviate a lot of parent/teen conflict in the future.

So, when it comes to cell phone rules for teens here are a few basics that you’ll want to go over with them:

1. You own the phone, so you have a right to determine how it is used. 

Most tweens and teens are not paying for their cell phones or their cell phone plans, it’s mom and dad coughing up the dough for that pricey piece of technology. If you paid for it, you own it.  Should they damage it or lose it, then they have to pay for the repair or replacement or else no more cell phone. It also means that you have the right to take it away at any point if they violate your trust or the rules you set up in your cell phone contract.

2. Usage limits:

This includes both times that the cell phone can and can’t be in use as well as data usage. Many families discover soon after adding a teen or tween to their cell phone plan that suddenly their getting notices about data running out half way through the month. This can get expensive and your kids need to know how to monitor their use as well as how to connect to wifi when they are at school or other locations that offer it in order to minimize their plan usage.

Also, teen cell phone addiction is a real thing, and setting some limits is important. Generally, it’s a good idea to have a no cell phone policy while they are doing homework and also at bedtime. Too many teens are losing sleep due to late night cell phone use.  Set-up a designated spot where the phone charges overnight that isn’t in their bedroom.

3. Downloading

Come to agreement ahead of time about what they are and aren’t allowed to download on their cell phone. There are some really bad apps for kids out there that you don’t want on their phones.  You may want to set up restrictions at first so they can’t download without your approval. Also, if they have gaming apps and such on their phones, be sure your clear about in-app purchases.

4. Privacy

Make sure your tweens and teens understand how to set-up their privacy settings, both on the phone and on any apps they use. Talk with them about why guarding their privacy is so important. Many teens truly have no concept about everything that a cell phone can share about them including personal information and their location.

5. Sharing

Speaking of sharing, you also want to cover what is and isn’t appropriate to share via a cell phone.  This definitely means photos and language used in texts, emails and on social media. But don’t forget simpler things like providing their address, their age or what school they go to within apps or online (if you’ve given them full internet access).

Tweens and teens don’t fully appreciate that there really is no such thing as “delete” in our connected world and information or images they share can be accessible or follow them around for their whole lives.

6. Digital Citizenship

For whatever reason, there seems to be the perception that the same standards of conduct and decency that apply in the real-world don’t apply in the online world.  Our tweens and teens need to be taught better.  They should never say things to or about someone online that they wouldn’t be totally comfortable saying to their face.  It’s also important they speak up and tell you if they see other people posting or saying things that could be hurtful to another person or perceived as bullying.

Lastly, there are times and places when using one’s cell phone is not appropriate. In movie theaters, at the dinner table or during class time at school the phone should be on silent and put away. Additionally, when someone is having a face to face conversation with them, they need to be looking at the person, not their phone.

Better Safe Than Sorry

You may have other cell phone rules you want to add, but this at least covers the major areas of concern.  Overall, it’s just important to open up this dialogue with your tweens and teens. Reassure them that you have every confidence in their ability to be responsible about their cell phone use. This is just your job as a parent to guide them and set them up for success.  Without a doubt you can give them multiple examples of adults they know who don’t use their cell phones appropriately and your goal is just to help them to avoid that fate.

A great way to wrap up the conversation is by reviewing this teenage cell phone contract with parents. They may laugh and think it’s silly, but tell them that this is actually a really adult approach.  You want to make sure that there isn’t any confusion or fights in the future about expectations and consequences. This just makes sure everyone is on the same page.

Click Here To Download FREE Printable Cell Phone Contract for Teens and Tweens

 

cell phone contract for teens and tweens

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How To Know What Age Is Best For Your Tween Or Teen To Have A Cell Phone

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“EVERYONE has a cell phone but ME,” whined my twelve-year-old daughter.

“Your twin brother doesn’t have one either,” I responded.

A variation of this same conversation had been going on between us for years. Since my twins have lost their North Face Jacket, DS games and other expensive items, I wasn’t too keen to shell out hundreds of dollars for a cell phone for my tweens.

I knew what my daughter was saying was true, that most of her friends did have cell phones. According to Techcrunch, in 2016 the average age a child gets their first smartphone is age 10. Another survey found that some children receive smartphones as young as age six.

Despite these statistics and my daughter’s perpetual whining, I didn’t feel that was a reason for me to buy a cell phone. I finally caved when my twins turned thirteen years old but not because they were the only one without a cell phone. I did it because it was easier for me for them to have one.

When they turned 13 years old, they entered a new school which was a Jr/Sr High School. At this school, they had the opportunity to stay after school to participate in activities or sports. Sometimes they also received extra help from their teachers which meant varying pick up times especially between the two of them.

The frequent changes became confusing (for all of us) and required them going to the office to use the school phone which meant they missed out on classes. It was much easier for me to send a quick text asking, “What time do you need me to pick you up?” rather than waiting to hear from them. Or it was easier for me to ask, “Where are you?” instead of frantically calling the school to try to figure it out.

 

What age is best for our tween or teen to have a cell phone

What age is best for your tween or teen to have a cell phone?

The answer to this question will be different for every family and even kids within the same family since maturity levels vary for all kids. Here are some factors to consider:

Responsible Behaviors:
Cell phones are expensive and enable your children to have access to the Internet. So you want to make sure your kid demonstrates responsible behavior by keeping track and caring for material items before you allow them to have their own cell phone. You also want to make sure they can be responsible regarding Internet safety.

Safety:
According to the CDC in 2015, almost half of all American homes did not have landlines. If your tween or teen stays home alone without a landline then they may need a cell phone so they can call 911 or another emergency personal if necessary. Your child may also feel safer knowing they are able to contact you when they are alone. There may be other situations when they would be safer if they had a cell phone such as walking alone to/from the bus stop.

Convenience:
The more involved your tween or teen becomes in activities, it will be easier it will be for both of you if your child had a cell phone for communication. Instead of calling the school or their friends’ parents, you will be able to contact them directly to find out where they are or when they need to be picked up.

Questions to Consider

Has your child been able to keep track of expensive items (such as jackets, headphones, iPad) for the past month?

Has your child used good judgment when using the Internet (you can check their search history or opened apps)?

Does your child follow rules and limits within the home and school?

Is your child respectful of other people?

In general, do you feel like you can trust your child?

In general, do you feel like your child is responsible?

Does your child walk and wait at the bus stop alone?

Are there times when your child is alone at home?

Is your child involved in multiple activities?

Buying a Cell Phone for Your Child

If you answered mostly “yes” to the above questions, it might be the right time for you to purchase a cell phone for your tween or teen. At that point you’ll want to figure out what will be the best cell phone for your teen and the best cell phone plan.  You might have an old cell phone that your no longer using the will work and it may be easy to add them right onto your own plan.

Just pay attention to the data usage limits you have as that seems to be the biggest issues for families once tweens and teens have their own phones.

Talk To Your Tweens and Teens About Responsible Cell Phone Use

As the last step before handing over that new cell phone to your teen or tween, make sure you talk with them about using their cell phone responsibly This includes going over cell phone safety tips, social media and app usage guidelines, unacceptable and risky cell phone behaviors and cell phone etiquette. Don’t forget to remind them that if the phone is damaged, broken or lost that they will either go without or have to pay for the repair or replacement.

You  might want to consider having them sign a cell phone contract as well. It may seem formal, but it’s really just a good way to open up the conversation about all the issues and responsibilities that come with having a cell phone. It also will help keep them accountable and makes sure they are very clear about the rules, expectations and consequences that you’re setting for them.  You can download one here: Free Printable Teen Cell Phone Agreement.

With or without a cell phone contract, let them know that you will be checking their phone to make sure they are being responsible and respectful of others when using the Internet or social media. It may even be a good idea to use a parental control app at first.  If you’re upfront with them about this then you shouldn’t feel like you’re spying on them or invading their privacy. You’re being a good parent. And even if you trust your teen, this is a big step and in today’s digital world one mistake can follow your child online forever.  Even good teens can make a poor decision from time to time.

It will be OKAY.

And yes, following these guidelines can lead to cell phone success for your teens.

I’m happy to report, my twins have had their cell phone for almost a year and they have managed to not lose or break it. The communication between us has been easier when I’ve had to transport them to all their many activities. And it’s nice to not hear my daughter whining about wanting a cell phone.

I figure I have about a two-year reprieve until she starts up again about wanting a car…..

This is a contributed post by Cheryl Maguire. She holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology and is the mother of boy-girl twins and a daughter. She has written for Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings, Parent Co., Signature Moms, Mothers Always Write and Twins Magazine

Parenting teens and tweens with all today’s technology is tough. Need a little more help:

Apps For Supporting Your Teen To Use Their Cell Phone Responsibly

The Best Ways You Can Fight Teen Cell Phone Addiction

 

The Best Cell Phones for Tweens and Teens

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They’ve been begging and pleading and whining about wanting a cell phone FOREVER.

“Everybody” has one they kept saying over and over again.

Well, the day has finally come and all their tween/teen wishes are coming true. You’re finally ready to hand over their very first cell phone. But the decision of which cell phone to get them isn’t always an easy one.

They of course would like the latest, most expensive cell phone with all the selfie and social media capabilities possible.

You on the other hand think a flip phone from 1998 sounds great. (Did they even make cell phones in 1998???)

So, as you embark on this momentous occasion you’ve probably got many concerns and considerations that you’re thinking through.

You want them to have a cell phone that helps you stay in touch with them and that will be reliable. Cost is almost always top of mind as well. And then of course you also need to pick the best cell phone plan for your teen or tween.

When it comes down to it, trying to decide on the best cell phone for your teen can be kind of confusing. Maybe you could use a little help? 

Well, no worries, here are several great suggestions for making this important decision.

the best cell phones for teens and tweens

 

The Best Cell Phones for Tween and Teens

Alcatel A50

For those of you who don’t want to pay a lot for a cell phone for your teen or tween, the Alcatel A50 is for you. We’re talking fast 4G LTE speed, up to 1.5 GHz quad-core processor, 2 GB of RAM, 16 GB of internal memory with the option to add up to 128GB of microSD expandable memory. So, you can think of this as an inexpensive phone with a lot of power!

 

Apple iPhone 6

You probably have a teen or tween in your house asking for an iPhone, if that’s the case, then the iPhone 6 is a good option. The iPhone is popular among a lot of people, not just the younger crown. As you can see there are refurbished versions that help make the cost of the iPhone a little less. You may want to look into the iPhone 6 as an option for the teen or tween in your life. Click here to check out all of the iPhone options available!

 

TracFone

Some of us are still in a day and age where the Trac Phone is perfect for what our kids need. Teens and tweens all have different needs when it comes to cell phones. The TracFone can help keep owning a cell phone inexpensive. With the TracFone, you buy airtime bundles to help keep your phone moving forward. You don’t have to pay for expensive contracts, which is always nice! Plus, the phone itself has awesome features like 4.5″ touchscreen; Android 5.1 (Lollipop); 1.1 GHz Quad processor; 5 Megapixel Camera.

 

Samsung Galaxy

For those of you who are team Android, the Samsung Galaxy may be for you. This type of cell phone works great for teens and tweens as it’s inexpensive and easy to use. Plus, this particular phone matches well with the AT&T plan. Anytime you buy a phone, make sure you know if it’s compatible with your cell phone plan!

 

NUU Mobile

Sometimes you have to step outside of what you know about cell phones for teens and tweens and try something different. The NUU Mobile cell phone may just what your teen or tween needs as their cell phone. This phone has all the standard cell phone features that you will need to make it work for your family. You can learn more about NUU Mobile right here and sign up.

 

While there are tons of other options out there, this hopefully helps you narrow down your choices when it comes to the best cell phones for teens and tweens.  But now that they’ve got a cell phone, make sure you have them sign a cell phone contract to ensure they know how to use it safely and responsibly.

Parenting Teens and Tweens and all today’s technology is hard work! Here’s a few other posts that can help you:

Apps For Supporting Your Teen To Use Their Cell Phone Responsibly

The Best Ways You Can Fight Teen Cell Phone Addiction

The Best Cell Phone Plans for Teens and Tweens

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Talk to Your Teen About Anxiety and Stress

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Anxiety and stress go together with the teen years like peanut butter goes with jelly.  It’s just sort of designed to be that way.
Grades, busy schedules, social confusion, dating, and preparing for college only scratch the surface of what is weighing on the shoulders of our teens today.
We worry about them so much and we’re not always sure how to help.
Sometimes we simply need to be there to support our teens when they get overwhelmed. We can make sure they’re eating well, getting enough sleep and taking other self-care measures.
But it’s also crucial that we keep an eye out for things going beyond just the everyday pressures of teen life. We should always be watching for signs of teen anxiety and stress . If we think that there could be a chance that their mental health is at risk, then it’s time for a conversation. 

As a parent, it’s never easy to broach these topics, but it’s so so important.

The longer that you wait to talk to your teen about anxiety and stress, the more those emotions can, and will build up making that barrier even larger than it already is.

Here are some suggestions to help get you started.

how to talk to your teen about stress and anxiety

How to talk to your teen about anxiety and stress

When it comes to talking to your teens timing is everything

While it’s important to talk to your teen as soon as possible about different things going on in their life, it’s also just as important to talk to them at the right time. Springing a random conversation on them that they aren’t going to be exactly thrilled to have isn’t going to end well for either of you.

Address the topic when they are sitting alone, and seem to be in a good and calm state. If they are already agitated it probably isn’t going to be the best time to try and have a constructive and positive conversation with them about what is going on.

Believe it or not, sometimes the car can be the best place to chat. There usually isn’t direct eye contact and its’ neutral ground for both of you. Just don’t do it when you’ve only got a few minutes and then they have to transition into a new situation like on the way to school or driving to a big game.

You could also take them out to coffee or a one on one dinner where the environment is relaxing.  Don’t jump right on the topic, but see if you can gently guide them there. Ask questions that might get them to open up or even mention subtle observations about things going on in their life that could lead them to see things are not quite right.

Let them do the talking

You may have an idea of why you think that they are dealing with anxiety and stress, but that is just going to be your opinion. When your teen decides to open up to you and tell you what is going on, it’s time for you to sit back and listen.

No judgment, no interjection – just open listening with your mind, heart, and soul. The moment that you start interrupting them and trying to take over the conversation, the sooner they will close up and stop talking.

Sometimes all our teens need is to vent so they can get whatever is weighing on them off their chest and out of their mind. Give them your ear, not your opinions.

Don’t  try to solve their problems right away

Also, don’t jump right in and try to solve their problems. What they need first is for you just to hear them out and let them share all the confusing mixed up feelings they are experiencing. They may not even fully be aware of what is going on, so you need to give them time to process it with you verbally.

Empathy comest first, solutions for how to cope with teen anxiety can come later.

Don’t take it personally

Your teen’s anxiety can be being caused by a number of things, and yes it’s possible that you are one of them.  They may feel like you have certain unrealistic expectations that are more than they can handle. Sometimes they may be trying to live up to what they think you want from them, instead of what’s really true.

While it may be hard to hear, don’t take it personally. It’s important that you figure out why they are feeling anxious and if they perceive you to be part of the problem, than you need to address that together.

As parents, we’re not perfect. Sometimes we send unintentional messages to our kids or sometimes we mean well, but don’t communicate our expectations well.  Hear them out, don’t get defensive, and either help alleviate misconceptions they may have or be willing to do a little self reflection in case you need to make a few changes on your end.

Also, even if you’re not part of the equation, don’t feel like you’re somehow to blame for their anxiety.  This is a common condition today and not unusual for adolescents.  It’s a difficult time in their lives and you shouldn’t take any kind of mental health issues your teen faces as a reflection on your parenting.

Don’t minimize or judge their experience

Teens tend to go through a lot of different emotions and social interactions that can really throw their lives for a loop. Some of it may seem silly or shallow, but try to remember what it was like when you were there age.

It’s hard to think beyond these high school years and it can feel to them like certain things really are the end of the world. You know better, but it’s not helpful if we become condescending.  It will only push them away.

It’s also important you don’t become angry or accusatory when your teen decides to open up to you about what is truly going on.

If your teen feels like they are being judged, then you can guarantee that it will be the last time they trust you enough to share their deeper feelings.

Don’t lecture

Yes, sometimes teens are responsible for bringing the stress and anxiety on themselves. Perhaps they’ve made poor choices or they’re overblowing certain situations.  This is not the time to point that out and to start telling them all the ways they’ve gone wrong.

If your teen has decided to trust you and talk with you about feeling stressed and anxious, just be there for them. Consider it a valuable opportunity to build your relationship with them and to establish a foundation that lets them know they can turn to you in their time of need.

At some point, the two of you can address their choices and work towards better decision making skills. But initially, you need a full understanding of what is fueling their anxiety and you aren’t going to get it if you lecture instead of listen.

Also, keep in mind that while talking is the first step, it’s possible your teen may need additional help and support. Neither you or your teen should ever feel ashamed if it is necessary to seek out a professional. It actually shows strong parenting on your side and courage on the part of your teen.  Anxiety can become a very serious issue for teens, but one that can also be managed with the right interventions early on.

Parenting tweens and teens is hard, but we’re here to help. You might also want to check out these posts:

Dear Teen Who Struggles with Anxiety

Teen Anxiety; 5 Ways To Help Your Teen Cope

Teen Test Anxiety; Strategies for Helping Your Teen Cope

 

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