My son has a new game.
Every morning when he wakes up, he walks into the kitchen and then comes over to stand toe to toe with me.
He grins mischievously as he takes his hand and measures where the top of his head lands.
These days, it’s not even two inches from the top of my own.
“Almost,” he says as he laughs, knowing that before too long he’ll be the taller one.
I’m 5’10, so I’m no shrimp, but he’s closed in on me quickly.
Too quickly.
A few days ago he blew out 13 candles on his Birthday cake.
13 CANDLES!
And just like that, we transitioned into the teen years.
Thirteen is an important milestone for kids and parents.
Life is full of transitions.
But at no time in our lives are we more aware of them, than when we become parents.
We watch our children when they are little struggle with one transition after another.
There are the more physical ones, like rolling over to sitting up, crawling to walking, learning to actually get their food in their mouths instead of all over their face, their clothes and the walls.
And then there are the more emotional transitions of everyday life like moving from playing to cleaning up, saying goodbye to mommy or daddy when they go to work, wrapping up at the end of the day and getting ready for bed.
It was amazing how these very simple changes in our child’s day could throw them off. Often resulting in tiny bodies thrown to the floor, kicking and screaming in protest, followed by desperate pleas
“Just five more minutes, mommy…”
We became experts over time in preparing our children for these transitions.
We learned how to give them enough warning, so they knew what to expect and when.
We tested and perfected just the right speaking tones to help ease them from point A to point B without a meltdown.
And we filled them up with all the love we could pour into them so they had the confidence and the strength to handle more on their own.
It truly is one of the most important skills we acquire as moms, and yet we rarely think of it in those terms. It became one of those things that we “just do.”
But we’ve spent so much time helping our children through the tough transitions they’ve faced in their lives, both big and small, that we rarely gave ourselves the same grace.
We’ve tended to their emotions, fully focused on getting them through life with as much peace as possible and never noticed our own inner turmoil.
We ignored it, because again, as a mom that becomes one of those things that you “just do.”
The teen years don’t hit at a specific number
Until, a moment catches us off guard
And all those feelings we stuffed down inside come rushing to the surface.
There are so many of these moments…..
It’s catching a glimpse of your child in your rear-view mirror and noticing his cheeks are just a little less chubby.
It’s the first time he doesn’t want to hold your hand in front of his friends.
It’s 13 candles being blown out on a Birthday cake.
Parents often grieve the end of their teen’s childhood
Suddenly, your eyes fill with tears.
But, you brush away them away and swallow the sadness so your child won’t see.
You remind yourself that he is still your little boy. At least for now. And then you silently whisper, “Slow down. Please, slow down.”
But it only seems to go faster
Legs get longer, chests get broader, feet somehow double in size overnight.
Voices deepen, hugs are fewer and problems get bigger along with their attitudes.
And that sweet face of your little boy, now looks more and more like that of a man.
You know these are signs of what is coming,
The hardest transition of all.
Just not for him.
You’ve prepared him well. There will be no tantrums or need to ease him through with soothing words.
He is more than ready for this new challenge.
But now it will be your turn to make that desperate plea
“Just five more minutes….”
Parenting Teens and Tweens is hard, but these popular posts other parents found helpful, might just make it a little easier.
This is how it feels to be the mother of a teenage boy
Dear Son, I Picked the Wrong Battle and I’m Sorry
To My Eighth Grade Boy In Your Last Year of Middle School
Dear Teen Son, Thank You For The Hugs
When you are in the thick of raising teens and tweens, we recommend Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love by Whitney Fleming. In Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love, blogger Whitney Fleming shares her favorite essays about raising three teenagers in today’s chaotic world. Written from the perspective of a fellow parent, each story will leave you with tears in your eyes and hope in your heart because someone else is saying exactly what’s been going through your mind.
Leave a Comment