How To Overcome The Five Biggest Challenges Of Raising Teens

Inside: Raising teens doesn’t have to be as challenging as everyone says it will be. You’ve got good kids, you just need to know how to adapt to the new challenges this stage presents.

Raising teenagers is challenging for so many reasons. They are going through so many changes and trying to figure out who they are and what really matters to them. And they are also seeking more and more independence as a way to separate themselves from their parents. This is normal, but for parents, it can be so frustrating and often heartbreaking.

I remember when my oldest entered into his tweens and it was like there was a different person living in my house overnight. Actually, multiple different people. I never knew which version of my kid was going to show up in each situation. It was exhausting attempting to roll with all his moods and sometimes I was even resentful, which led to anger and outbursts of my own. You may also like to read: Dear Mom: Please Stick With Me as I Find Myself (parentingteensandtweens.com)

Most of all, though, I just missed my kid and who he used to be, as well as our relationship. I had heard all the horror stories about raising teens, but honestly, I never truly believed that would be my experience. I don’t think most of us do.

Are we naive? No, not all. We feel this way because we know we have good kids—kids that we actually like and who like us, despite what they might say. It’s common for parents to feel like we are failing our teenagers, but we need to reframe our perspective.

The issue is that we have to learn to adapt to a new dynamic in our relationships. We have to keep our connection while letting them grow. It’s also good to know the key triggers that lead to many of the problems we face when raising teens.

How To Overcome The Five Biggest Challenges Of Raising Teens

Here are five common problems parents face today, along with real solutions to help us through this challenging time of raising teenagers.

Dealing With Communication Breakdowns

Problem: Teens often seem withdrawn or uninterested in talking to their parents, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.
Solution:
- First, don’t take their behavior or rejection personally! Instead, establish open lines of communication by being an active listener. Show genuine interest in their lives without being intrusive. Use non-judgmental language and make time for regular, casual conversations (car rides are a perfect time for this type of connection). You can be empathetic by acknowledging their feelings and validating their experiences, even if you don’t fully understand them.
- This is also important: give them your full attention whenever possible. That means putting down your phone or closing your laptop when they come talk to you.
- Set boundaries or family rules around healthy communication. At a time when things are not heated, have a discussion about how your family will speak to each other. Don’t engage or respond to snarky behavior and have some lines at the ready to help you not fly off the handle (for example, “You seem really upset. Why don’t you take a minute and come find me when you’re ready to talk.) Remember, your child will learn how to navigate conflicts based on how you handle disagreements with them.

Helping Your Teen Handle Academic Pressure

Problem: Today’s teens face immense pressure to perform academically, which can lead to severe stress and anxiety.
Solution: Encourage them to take a balanced and holistic approach to academics. Emphasize the importance of effort over grades and make sure you recognize their hard work. If needed, offer support in managing their time and creating healthy study habits, and don’t hesitate to provide resources like tutoring. Lastly, make sure they have time to relax, pursue hobbies, and understand self-care. They are still kids, and they do deserve some downtime.

Managing Negative Influences From Peers and Social Media

Problem: Whether we like it or not, teens are highly influenced by their peers and social media, which can lead to issues like low self-esteem, risky behavior, and cyberbullying.
Solution: Don’t lecture, but instead educate them about the potential impacts of social media and peer pressure. Have them read articles or watch a documentary like the Social Dilemma with them. Set reasonable boundaries and encourage them to evaluate the content they consume critically. Also, make sure they understand what healthy friendships look like and what the warning signs are of toxic relationships.

Recognizing and Getting Help For Teen Mental Health Issues

Problem: It is a reality of our time that many teens struggle with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and identity crises.
Solution: As parents, we need to normalize conversations around mental health and know how to recognize early signs and symptoms. It is so important that we encourage healthy lifestyle habits like regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep for our teens. Encourage them to have coping mechanisms, such as meditation, affirmations, or a hobby they pursue just for fun. But sometimes this isn’t enough. Don’t hesitate to seek out professional help for your teen, such as counseling or therapy. Show empathy by listening without judgment and reassure them that it’s not only okay but brave to get help when you’re struggling.

Balancing Independence vs. Control

Problem: The teen years are an important time for our kids to develop their independence, but they aren’t grown yet, and we still need to maintain some parental control.
Solution: We should want our teens to begin pushing boundaries and to seek more independence. If they don’t they won’t become competent and capable adults. Additionally, the more independent they become, the more confident and resilient they become. However, it doesn’t happen overnight. The best approach is to gradually give teens more responsibility and autonomy while setting clear and reasonable expectations and consequences. Involve them in decision-making processes to help them feel empowered and respected. Let them learn and master essential life skills. Show them you trust their ability to make good decisions and then step back and provide guidance when necessary. (You might like to download these 50 Life Skills to Teach Your Teens printable.)

Raising teens doesn’t have to play out the way that most negative stereotypes portray.

Yes, there are challenges, but so much of it is about how we, as parents, react and the tone we set. Our teens need us to approach them and the issues they face with empathy and understanding.

As much as we may feel this stage is challenging on us as parents, we often forget it is even harder for our teens. If we can foster a supportive and nurturing environment, this will help our teens navigate the complexities of adolescence with confidence and resilience.

And honestly, this usually leads to better relationships with our teens and an easier time for everyone.