With a 15, 13, and 10-year-old, we’ve officially moved into phase two of kids’ Christmases in our house. Last year the youngest was still holding on to Santa, but that’s come to pass, and yes, there’s a twinge of sadness in my heart that some of the magic is gone. Gone are the 5 a.m. Christmas mornings and whispers of “Did Santa come?!” Our elf still moves around the house, but it’s the kids doing it now—hiding her on each other. And no one writes lists to the big guy at the North Pole anymore. Those lists go straight to—you guessed it—Mom and Dad.
But honestly, I wasn’t entirely devastated as we neared the end of the Santa years in our house, and I think that is in large part because some of my favorite childhood Christmases were from when my sister and I were older—in our tween and teen years, long past believing in Santa, but still eagerly anticipating what treasures we’d discover on Christmas morning under the tree. And now that my kids have arrived at that stage, and I’m the mom of bigs, not littles, I can tell you first-hand that this season is still full of joy and surprise, and yes, Christmas magic. And I can only hope that when my kids are grown, maybe raising teenagers of their own, that they’ll look back at their childhood Christmases and say that yes, even when they were “big kids,” they could still almost hear a faint jingle of a reindeer bell on Christmas Eve and a “Ho Ho Ho” in the distance as they drifted off to sleep.
I’m not sure when, exactly, I figured out the truth about Santa, but at some point I just knew. And My mom knew I knew. So Christmases started to change for 90s teenage me, much in the way they are now changing for my kids, and that’s okay. And it’s interesting to compare the 90s teen Christmas to that of today’s adolescents—like the fact that my daughter can text me a link to the Eras Tour hoodie she wants, whereas my wishes were all written on paper in the pre-internet era. But some things remain the same (like acid-washed jeans and scrunchies topping the list!) and honestly, as a mom, this might be my favorite Christmas season yet.
Related: 25 Christmas Activities To Do With Teens That They’ll Actually Think Are Fun
Christmas with teens—90s vs today
90s teen girls dreamed of a clear phone for their room so they could finally talk to their friends in private without their little brothers eavesdropping. Only back then, a family member—sibling or parent—could still pick up the line at any given moment and interrupt whatever gossip was being shared about Joey or Bobby from math class.
Today’s teen girl, however, laments being the “ONLY” one without the latest iPhone or Android model (plus designer case and Lululemon crossbody to keep it in, obvs).
And how about the rest of the list? Do you remember writing yours out as a teen? With hearts over each letter i? Things like “flannel shirt”, “dark brown lipstick”, or “tickets to see The Backstreet Boys” might have been on it. It was all written out, maybe in glitter pen if you were lucky enough to have one, and handed over to your mom for safe-keeping.
Today’s teen creates an Amazon wishlist and sends the link to everyone they know. Or, if your kid is like my daughter, who loves to shop off Etsy and other sites, they might draft a Google doc that’s chock full of links to items like “organic, cruelty-free makeup” and “Stanley water bottle” that they’ll lose at school the first week in January.
The 90s teen went to sleep on Christmas Eve with posters of Dylan McKay and Brandon Walsh all over their walls and was dragged out of bed on Christmas morning wearing an old AC/DC tee.
Today’s teen might have a poster or two, but more likely has various room inspiration posts on a Pinterest board (and as for a famous celeb—it’s probably someone on TikTok, not cable TV). But ironically, even though their room might look different, they’re just as likely to wear an old AC/DC tee as their mom did 30 years ago (because 90s bands are on trend, even if these kids don’t really know who AC/DC is).
Related: 18 of the Most Hysterical Tweets That Sum Up Christmas with Teenagers
And while 90s teen boys and girls jumped for joy over their new CD player and Nirvana CD to go with it, today’s adolescent might make that same shriek of excitement over an iPhone 15 or a new pair of AirPods they can use while zoning out to their fave tunes on Spotify.
Other things have changed too—like if you scarfed down a PopTart for breakfast as a teen before tearing into your new gifts, your kid today might take the time to prepare an Acai-granola-spinach smoothie. And yeah, even though the chances are good that both you and your kid wore a t-shirt from a 90s rock band to bed on Christmas Eve, and that you both pulled on your favorite pair of sweatpants on Christmas morning, your kid’s were probably bought online and, if they’re name-brand, cost more than your first car payment. In the 90s, your sweats came from K-Mart.
Christmas traditions that haven’t changed
But for all the ways 90s teen Christmases looked different when compared to today’s, a few constants remain. My kids know that Mom and Dad are the real Santa, just like I knew back then. That means having a loooooot of gratitude for how hard your parents work so you can have all the coolest stuff—like CD players then and iPhones now. (Or, at the very least, the parents in these stories hope for some gratitude!)
Also, there was still plenty of magic. Sure, the fairy tale had changed, but 13… 15… 17-year-old me still felt those flutters of excitement as Christmas neared, and I know my kids feel the same.
In our house, childhood traditions—like baking and decorating cookies, driving around town and looking at Christmas lights, and singing Christmas carols in the kitchen—aren’t going anywhere. We still manage to fit in a few Christmas movies (Home Alone, Elf, and A Christmas Carol are regular favorites). And sure, we might have to schedule things now (“decorate tree” literally had to be written into the family calendar because my kids are so busy with sports and activities) but we prioritize our traditions and do our best to make sure we squeeze in all these precious memories year after year.
Also, my kids still make and give gifts to the people they love. In preschool, those gifts looked like crafts and ornaments made out of cardboard, glitter glue, and macaroni. As older kids, they might still make gifts (my daughter loves to crochet so she’s making pot-holders and scarves for everyone) or purchase something thoughtful with their own money. But they know that giving gifts and showing our friends and family how much we love them is the whole point, so that spirit of kindness and generosity remains.
And, regardless of their ages, Christmas for me, their mom, means knowing which gift is the “big gift” and waiting with anticipation as they begin to tear the paper off. It means seeing their eyes get big and hearing their screams of happiness as they see the boots or video game system or even car keys they’ve dreamed of. But, as moms, we know that no matter how big they get, we’ll still see them as tiny preschoolers—with those same big eyes and same shouts of joy—tearing open the LEGO set or dollhouse or new bike that was on their Santa list all those years ago.
Related: 10 Brilliant Non Tech Gifts For Teens To Get Them Off Their Screens
What Christmas means as a mom of teenagers
I remember once when I was a child, I asked my mom what she wanted for Christmas, and she said she didn’t really want anything—that her favorite part of Christmas was watching us open our gifts. And since becoming a mother myself, I get it. That doesn’t mean we’re martyring ourselves—of course we want our hard work to be appreciated. And I know my family will ensure some thoughtful gifts for Mom will be under the Christmas tree, just as we did for my mom decades ago.
But yes, whether they’re three or 13, that’s what Christmas is for me, and I know that’s what it was about for my mother too—seeing the joy in our children’s faces. Whether that joy comes from writing a letter to Santa with big kindergarten letters, or whether it comes from realizing in real time that they now have the Nikes they’ve wanted all year and can’t wait to get back to school so they can wear them on the first day, a mom treasures all the Christmases she gets with her kids—little and big.
So if you’re struggling with the end of the little kid Santa era and worry that Christmas will have lost its magic, know this. As a 90s teens, my Christmases were nothing but magical, and as a mom of teens today, I can say that truthfully, this age is one of my favorites—especially during the holiday season. Whether it’s 1993 or 2023, teens love to bake cookies and find candy canes in their stocking. They love to blast Christmas music and watch holiday movies on family movie night with a big tub of popcorn in their lap.
And they definitely love asking “Santa” for a few things they’ve really been wanting for a while (with a wink).
Yes, it’s true, they’re busier now and you might have to schedule time to make gingerbread houses, but you should know one thing for sure. Your teens know you love them and someday they’ll carry on your family traditions, maybe even as moms of their own big kids.
And 30 years from now, they’ll look back and say, “Wow, my mom sure did make Christmas magical.”
90s teens (like me) drove around looking for the nearest Dunkin Donuts, but today’s teens love Boba—so here’s a great gift idea to sneak under the tree this year!
Parenting teens and tweens is a tough job, but you’re not alone. Here are some posts other parents have found helpful.
How to Enjoy the Holiday Break With Your College Kid
Comforting and Stress-Reducing Gifts to Help Your Anxious Teen
Over 100 Of The Absolutely Best Gift Ideas For Teen Boys
50+ Experience Gift Ideas for Teens that Won’t Make Them Roll Their Eyes
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