Here’s the thing about the holidays and teenagers.
They just aren’t the same.
Those big kids may want to spend more time with their friends.
They may want to stay up all night and sleep until noon.
They may get in trouble. They may get a little snarky. They may drive you nuts with their comments, their cups all over the place, and their noses in their phones.
There are no more threats about Santa. There’s no more making reindeer antlers out of little hands. There’s no more assembling toys and finding the right batteries late at night on Christmas Eve.
And it’s okay to be sad that those fleeting moments are gone. It’s okay to grieve for a little bit that those small bodies are now grown and no longer fit on your lap. It’s okay to wish that you could go back in time.
But don’t miss out on what’s right in front of you, right now, at this moment.
You might have less time with your big kids, so maximize what you’ve got.
Whereas you once had to figure out what you would do with all that time at winter break, now, you’ll wish your teen was home for more of it. It’s not that time is speeding up, but the amount of time you get with them dwindles.
Fit in the traditions whenever you can, like at 9 p.m. when you really want to be in your jammies, but your daughter had late-night soccer practice.
Make the cookies by yourself but decorate them together in between their jobs and commitments and other responsibilities.
Wait until your big kids are all home from college to drag out all the ornaments and decorate the Christmas tree.
Watch your favorite holiday movies whenever you can fit them in—and maybe even let them invite a friend.
Casually leave the materials for making gingerbread houses out on the table (and see what happens.)
You don’t have to change all your traditions, but don’t hang on so tight that it makes you bitter and resentful of your loved ones.
You might also like to read: 10 Reasons Why Christmas With Teens Is Pretty Great.
Sometimes your traditions have to grow in lockstep with your kids.
And sometimes you have to force them into a little holiday fun.
They may think they are too old to do some of these things but pick and choose your battles. Tell them which holiday season events are non-negotiable and which ones they can skip if they so choose. Tell them the importance of these memories and the ones you have from when you were a teen as well.
Don’t be so sad about the past that you miss what’s happening today.
And sure, it’s sad that the magical part of their childhood Christmases may be over. Sure, it’s disappointing that they may not want to do the things that have defined the holidays in the past.
But don’t let that get in the way of the memories you can make today.
Christmas morning is going to look different with teenagers.
They may not wake Mom and Dad up at the crack of dawn. They may want to take selfies before opening the gifts. They may roll their eyes when you ask them to put on those flannel PJs you bought back in September.
They may be texting with friends while opening gifts. They may not be interested in moving the Elf throughout the month of December. They may want to take a nap before Christmas dinner.
But you also may see that smile that makes them look like a little kid when they open that pack of underwear you get them each year, or how they’ve mastered the secret to baking Grandma’s biscuits, or maybe how they didn’t complain too much when you went to see the Christmas lights (even if you had to bribe them with candy canes and hot chocolate).
Here’s the thing about the holidays with teenagers.
They just aren’t the same.
But if you let your traditions grow with your family, they may be even better.
You may also like to read: 25 Fun Thanksgiving Traditions for Teens They Will Actually Want to Do.
P.S. Christmas with teens may look different, but if your teens tell you they want to keep up with a certain tradition, you do it!
Are you in the thick of raising your tweens and teens?
You may like this book by Whitney Fleming, the co-owner of Parenting Teens & Tweens: Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love: Essays about Raising Teens in Today’s Complex, Chaotic World.
Raising teens and tweens is a tough job, but you’re not alone. These posts might help:
10 Brilliant Non Tech Gifts For Teens To Get Them Off Their Screens
Christmas With Teens—Magical In The 90s And Magical Today
18 of the Most Hysterical Tweets That Sum Up Christmas with Teenagers
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