Inside: Our teens often think that they know more than we do. Here’s how to handle this common teen issue in a productive and positive way.
I’m guessing many of you have had that same “aha” moment that I have, when you realize you’ve suddenly become the least intelligent person in the house—at least according to your teenager.
I have multiple degrees, decades of life experience, and an arsenal of hard-earned wisdom, but to my teen, I just don’t get it.
You know, how they roll their eyes when you offer advice, insist “I know mom” with exasperation and are convinced they have life all figured out.
It’s so incredibly frustrating, and you may even find your temper rising in response. You want to shake them and say, “Trust me! I’ve been where you are. I do know what I’m talking about!” But they won’t listen. Because in their minds, they already know better.
Why Do Our Teens Think They Know It All?
First, let’s acknowledge a simple truth: this is normal. It’s a developmental phase, and while it’s infuriating, it’s also necessary. The teenage years are all about asserting independence, forming their own beliefs, and figuring out who they are separate from you. Their brains are still developing, especially the part responsible for decision-making and weighing long-term consequences.
Related: The Best Way to Understand Your Teen’s Behavior Is to Start with Their Brain
They don’t mean to be dismissive or disrespectful (at least, not all the time). They just genuinely believe they’re seeing things clearly—perhaps for the first time.
A Little Perspective—Remember Being a Teen?
Before I let frustration completely take over, I always try to take a breath and think back to when I was a teenager (yes, that is getting farther and farther away and those memories are a little hazy, but we all know they are there even if we’ve tried to block them out)
Do you remember feeling like the adults around you just didn’t get it?
Maybe you thought your parents were overprotective, out of touch, or too controlling. Maybe you believed your feelings were more intense, your friendships more important, and your struggles more unique than any adult could possibly understand.
You weren’t trying to be difficult—you were just convinced you knew.
Your teen feels the same way. The world is changing so quickly that they probably do know things you don’t—especially when it comes to technology, trends, and their own social world. But what they lack is life experience, the ability to see the bigger picture, and the wisdom that comes from making mistakes (which, ironically, they often refuse to avoid).
So, when you feel like your head is about to explode and your considering banishing your teen to their room until they turn 26, what can you do?
How to Handle the “I Know It All” Attitude Without Losing Your Mind
- Don’t Take It Personally
Teens push boundaries—it’s their job. Their confidence (or overconfidence) in their own knowledge is a sign they’re trying to step into adulthood. It’s not about you being wrong; it’s about them wanting to be right.
Related: Why And How To Stop Taking Your Teen’s Attitude Personally - Pick Your Battles
Some things aren’t worth arguing over. If they insist they know how to do something and it’s not a safety issue, let them learn through experience. But for the big things—safety, health, and their future—it’s okay to hold your ground.
Related: 10 Commons Battles that Will Destroy the Relationship with Your Teen - Ask More, Lecture Less
Instead of jumping in with advice, ask questions that help them think critically:- “That’s an interesting perspective—what makes you think that?”
- “What do you think the long-term impact of that choice might be?”
- “How would you handle it if things didn’t go as planned?
Guiding them to think things through without outright telling them they’re wrong makes them more likely to listen.
- Share Your Own “I Was Wrong” Stories
Teens love to believe adults don’t understand, so show them you do. Share a time when you thought you knew everything and later realized you were wrong. Let them see that learning through mistakes is a normal (and sometimes painful) part of life. - Give Them Space to Fail (When It’s Safe to Do So)
Some lessons can’t be taught—they have to be learned. As much as you want to save them from bad decisions, certain mistakes are necessary. The key is to be their safety net, not their snow plow. Let them stumble, and when they do, be there with support, not “I told you so.”
Related:The Common Mistakes Teenagers Make and Why Parents Need To Let Them Make Them
This Is The Smartest They Will Ever Be
Parenting a teen who thinks they know everything is exhausting. But if we can remember that their overconfidence is part of their growth, it becomes easier to handle. They may roll their eyes now, but one day, they’ll look back and realize—just like most of us did—that their parents actually knew a thing or two.
Hang in there. You’re not alone. And even if they won’t admit it, your wisdom is sinking in more than you think.
KEEP YOUR COOL WHEN PARENTING TEENS: 7 HACKS TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES, LECTURE LESS, LISTEN MORE, AND BUILD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP
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