Inside: Teens are experiencing a loneliness epidemic and while the causes are not clear, there are clear steps parents can take to help.
This is a contributed post from Kathryn Rawson, PhD, Coachbit.
It is no surprise that the COVID-19 pandemic caused a sudden rise in feelings of loneliness among teenagers. Surprisingly though, studies found that the surge began before the pandemic.
A study conducted in 2018 reported that 20% of children and adolescents consistently feel lonely, and more than one in one in five millennials in the USA report having no friends at all. Teen loneliness is a global issue and is getting progressively worse.
Why Are Our Teens So Lonely?
The pandemic certainly contributed to the rise in teen loneliness today. The shift to online schooling and isolation from friends led to feelings of disconnect and social isolation.
Other factors also impact feelings of disconnect and isolation among teens severely. These include
- Increased usage of social media, smartphones, screens, and gaming.
- The decline of traditional community structures, such as youth centers, religious communities, libraries, and sports associations
- Contactless culture: Uber Eats, online shopping, Amazon, etc.
- Bullying and peer pressure
Related: Our Teens Are Completely Stressed Out: Here Are 7 Simple Ways to Help
Smartphones, Social Media, and Loneliness
The connection between social media usage and feelings of loneliness is strong in adolescents. In a 2019 study, teenagers who spend more time on social media reported being more lonely than their peers who spent less time scrolling on these online platforms. Studies have begun to look at how the teenage brain reacts to rejection and acceptance by peers on social media. Reactions to rejection in the brain are far stronger than reactions to those to acceptance.
Teenagers are highly sensitive to social rejection, and unfortunately, social media and other online platforms can be breeding grounds for bullying, rejection, and social exclusion.
Related: Technology Can Make Your Teen Anxious And Depressed, Here’s How To Help
Belonging vs. Fitting In
Loneliness hits all of us hard. That’s because our need to be socially connected and belong is intrinsic. Evolutionarily speaking, belonging to a group was essential for survival.
As teenagers, belonging first takes place in our immediate family. Second to the family is belonging to a social group – which, for many teenagers, takes place at school.
A teenager’s sense of belonging within a group or school setting influences their perception of themselves as valuable and meaningful group members.
However, many teenagers are very good at doing what they must to fit in and meet their social groups’ standards. Fitting in is not true belonging. Brene Brown, the best-selling author of Daring Greatly, explains,
“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”
Related: Navigating My Teens through Peer Rejection is Hard on My Heart
What Can Parents Do To Help Lonely Teens
Manage social media use
We don’t advocate cutting social media or smartphones out of teens’ lives completely. Studies have shown that teens who spend less than 30 minutes online daily experience poor mental health outcomes – just as much as those who spend too much time online daily.
These studies recommended a sweet spot for teens – between 60 and 90 minutes online daily. But how do you cut down the time your teen spends online?
- Create device-free zones at home (the dinner table, study area, or bedroom)
- Install tracking apps on their phones to track their daily screen time and set limits
- Establish device-free times (before bed or first thing in the morning)
Related: Here Are The Tech Rules You Need To Be Setting For Your Tweens and Teens
Eat together as a family
New research from the University of Oxford shows that communal eating increases social bonding and enhances feelings of community. Kids who eat dinner with their parents regularly report feeling closer to their parents and do better in school. So how do you get your teenager off their phone, out of their bedroom, and at the dinner table?
- Choose a specific time for dinner each evening, and stick to it
- Make sure the tv is off and phones are out of sight
- Prepare meals and clean up together at least once a week.
- Plan your weekly meal schedule as a family, and include at least one fun night (a theme, a fun cuisine, or dinner at a restaurant)
Related: Don’t Stop Doing These 5 Things When Your Kids Are Teens
Consider a life coach for teens
Recent research has shown that when kids turn 13 they prioritize outside voices over their parents. They usually turn to friends or other adults. Many parents have equipped their kids with a life coach, providing them with a trusted source of support to navigate the difficulties that come with adolescence.
In-person life coaching can be tricky for teens to get on board with, but lately, more tech-savvy solutions are available. Coachbit is a life-coaching mobile app for tweens and teens. A dedicated life coach meets daily with your teen and equips them with the life and study skills they need to thrive.
More than anything, a life coach becomes a trusted friend – helping teens feel less alone and putting parents at ease.
Related: If you’d like to learn more about life coaching for teens click here: Coachbit
Our teens are facing a loneliness epidemic, and we, as parents and caregivers, must recognize the signs. Just because they may be surrounded by friends, or absorbed in social media or gaming, does not mean they are not lonely.
Parenting teens and tweens can be hard, but these popular posts other parents found helpful just might make it a little easier.
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Dear Parenting Teens & Tweens Team,
My name is Maha Iftikhar, a producer for the Breakfast Show on the Voice of Islam Radio Station.
On our next show on October 15th 2025, we will be discussing the teen loneliness
I would be grateful if you would consider this invitation to speak on the show and share more information on the subject to help inform our listeners.
The telephone interview would be scheduled between 7:30-08:15am BST, and we would send some proposed questions beforehand, which can be changed as deemed suitable. Telephone interviews usually last between 10-20 minutes
If you can assist, please could you confirm and send the following information:
• a short bio/introduction of the speaker
• a contact telephone number for the interview
• any Twitter handles, Instagram, and Facebook details you would like to be tagged on.
I can also arrange a telephone conversation if you have any questions or would like to discuss anything further.
I look forward to hearing back from you soon.
*The UK Breakfast Show on The Voice of Islam Radio Station explores current affairs and other various topics, trying to raise awareness and create an open forum for discussion. It is streamed via DAB and has both a national and global audience. The timing of the Breakfast Show is between 7:00 am-9:00 am UK time Monday to Friday.
Kind regards,
Maha
Producer for Voice of Islam Radio
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