Cross Country Was the Best Part of High School for My Daughter and for Me

Recently, a neighbor with younger kids asked me about my daughter’s high school cross-country experience.

I had just returned from driving 90 minutes to a meet and 90 minutes home to watch a 20-minute race where I only saw my daughter four times. I was exhausted from getting up early, sweaty, and starving.

“Was it worth it?” she asked.

“Worth it?” I responded.

I thought about it for a second. Cross-country running is a sport in which individuals are part of a team of runners who compete in races that take place over natural, outdoor terrain. Some are located in beautiful nature preserves with grassy trails and dirt paths; others are loops around school building with gravel roads and man-made hills.

But that’s not what it’s about.

So, I thought about it for a second and shared with her some things that happen during cross-country meets and why it’s the best part of my week.

Six reasons I love High School Cross Country

1. The anticipation of the start

Imagine the scene in Braveheart when the hundreds of Scotsman line up. You see them breathing deeply, jumping up and down, and giving high-fives and hugs before the epic battle. Then the gun goes off, and they run as fast as they can over the grassy knolls.

The start of a cross-country meet is just like that part of the movie but without the tartan skirts. Watching those kids take off brings tears to my eyes every single time.

2. Then the real running starts.

Not the athletes but the parents and spectators. You will run across fields and over hills and through mud to catch a glimpse of your child as they push themselves through the course. You’ll cheer for their teammates and everyone else’s kid that runs by because that is just what you do.

When they pass, you’ll watch them for a brief second while shouting encouragement and then turn around to run to the next spot so you can see them at another area on the course before racing to the finish line. You can easily close your exercise ring and achieve your step goal on an XC course, especially if it has hills.

3. You will see personal bests every single time.

It may be your runner who has worked so hard during a tough season and finally hit their goal.

Or, it may be a young man or woman who broke a long-standing course record.

But the best -and the one that will put a lump in your throat – is watching the kid who completed their first race, finished despite a debilitating cramp, or ran under 30 minutes for the first time ever. Those celebrations are the ones you’ll take with you.

4. You will see so much joy.

In a sports world dominated by club athletics, poor sideline behavior, and politics, cross country is often a no-cut sport that celebrates personal achievements. Your kid will get to run and participate, whether they are on varsity or running in the open.

That means the parents can relax and cheer for their kids (and others) without the pressure of worrying about playing time or a coach’s perceived favoritism. It changes the entire dynamic of the sidelines.

5. You will see moments of sportsmanship that will give you hope for humanity.

While I love watching my daughter run, it’s the extraordinary moments of sportsmanship that fuels my love for the sport.

I’ll never forget the dad I saw tethered to his blind teenage son running through a grassy field and their celebratory hug when they crossed the finish line hand in hand.

Or the five young men who, after running 3 miles at breakneck speed, ran an extra half mile of the course with their teammate to help get him to the end of the race.

Or, the three young girls who, when walking back to their tent after their cooldown, stopped to encourage an athlete from another school to keep pushing herself.

Or the runner who lost a shoe during the race and kept going for another two miles, and then you see the team carrying her to the bus because her feet are so sore.

Sports are an incredible place for kids to show their best. I’ve found cross-country meets to highlight them a little bit more.

6. You’ll be awe-struck at the dedication of these kids.

I am not a runner myself. Sure, I jog the occasional few miles, but when my daughter said she wanted to join the cross-country team, I said sure, why not?

I thought they just practiced a few times a week and then ran their three miles Saturday morning.

Nope. Race days are hard core. Quite often, they arrive at school at an ungodly hour, like 6 a.m. Then, the coach may have them run a quick mile in the dark before getting on the school bus to travel. Once there, they start warming up, which includes another few miles. Then, they race and should want to take a nap, but not done yet. They then need to cool down, so they do another mile or two to help their muscles do something scientific. After that, they often run around cheering on their teammates, and then they have to break down their tent and carry stuff back to the buses. They usually don’t get home until late in the afternoon, at which point they may need to start thinking about homework or their jobs or volunteering or chores.

And they get it all done.

The training schedule is bananas as well. There is summer running when the kids get to school six days a week at 7 a.m. to train for a few hours, like running hills, doing sprints, or completing long runs of up to 10 miles. Then the season starts, which is practicing every day either before or after school for a few hours with meets on Saturday. Then there is winter running and track season and then they start all over again.

Sometimes it’s a little gross

Sure, you see some unsavory stuff too. Sometimes XC runners throw up at the end of their race and the Porta-Potties are pretty gross, but is it worth it?

I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

It’s the best part of my week.

And those smiles at the end of the race? It’s worth every single mile.

What if we lived life like we were all in a cross-country meet?

What if we watched other people and recognized that we’re all just trying to get across the finish line?

What if we understood that some people are running as hard as they can but battling illnesses, invisible injuries, and internal struggles? Every step is hard, but they’re trying not to quit.

What if we cheered for everyone even if they aren’t on our team?

What if we realized just finishing something, no matter how long it took us or how messy it seemed, was enough? In fact, it was a win.

What if we used every race as an opportunity to learn a little bit more about ourselves, but also how we could use each other for support, inspiration, and help to reach our goals?

What if we cheered loud for the winner, but even louder for the one who comes in last because they accomplished something great, too?

In a world that tells us it’s about me, me, me, what if we started living to support everyone brave enough to be in the race?

What if we started treating our lives like we are all in the same cross country meet?

What a beautiful world that would be.

Raising teens and tweens is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Here are some posts that may help.

30+ Inspirational Sports Movies to Connect with Your Teen

These Are the Mistakes I Made That Caused My Daughter to Quit Sports

If You Don’t Want to Ruin Your Kid’s Sporting Events, Do These 10 Things

P.S. Are you looking to have a better relationship with your teen? We love this book, Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood, by Jim Fay.

When you are in the thick of raising teens and tweens, we recommend Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love by Whitney Fleming. In Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love, blogger Whitney Fleming shares her favorite essays about raising three teenagers in today’s chaotic world. Written from the perspective of a fellow parent, each story will leave you with tears in your eyes and hope in your heart because someone else is saying exactly what’s been going through your mind.

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Cross Country Was the Best Part of High School for My Daughter and for Me