Teen anxiety is on the rise, and it’s not surprising.
Think about what your teens are dealing with today.
They have crushing academic schedules crammed with honors and AP classes that result in hours of homework for them each night.
Sports teams are more demanding than ever and most student athletes play not only on school teams, but also on club teams. And no matter if your teen’s thing is sports or theater or music, that’s not enough. They have to make sure they are well rounded and participate in other extra-curricular activities as well.
Then of course there are volunteer hours and part time jobs and other responsibilities.
There is the pressure to get into a “good” college, and figuring out how to pay for it.
Additionally, there is evidence that our teens constantly plugged-in lives leave them sleep deprived, while social media feeds their adolescent insecurities and worries.
As if all this wasn’t enough, some teens develop an anxiety disorder during this stage of life due to hormonal changes, puberty, and added pressure from peers and school life.
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Anxiety Symptoms in Teens
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that 7 percent of children age 3 to 17 have a diagnosed anxiety disorder;Â the average age of onset is 11 years.
You know too well if you have teens that they are just naturally prone to mood swings and some bizarre behavior. Part of that is just being a teenager. So, how can you tell if it is something more and your teen is experiencing real anxiety symptoms.
Here are a few symptoms of anxiety to look for:
Physical symptoms such as:
- Stomachaches
- Headaches
- Racing Heart , Chest Pain or Panic Attacks
- Shortness of Breath
- Dizziness
- Difficulty Sleeping/Fatigue
- Nightmares or Sudden Fears They Never Expressed Before
- Obsessive Behaviors Like Nail Biting, Skin Picking or Even Pulling Out Their Hair
Social symptoms such as:
- Negative Thoughts That Spin Out Of Control
- Withdrawing From Family and Friends
- Restlessness and Irritability
- Anger
- Depression
- Difficulty Concentrating
- Crying For What Seems Like No Reason
This is not an exhaustive list and you should be concerned if you see you’re teen exhibiting any behaviors that are significantly outside the norm for them.
Teen anxiety can be very serious and if you find that it is interfering in a noticeable way with your teen’s daily functioning, it would be wise to seek help from a licensed mental health practitioner.
But anxiety can also just be a normal part of life, everyone has anxiety from time to time. Your teen may simply need to learn coping skills to manage their stress, and you can help by providing guidance, support and reassurance.
Teen Anxiety – 5 Ways To Help Them Cope
Reduce Screen-Time/Increase Snooze Time
Without a doubt, today’s tech is definitely contributing to today’s teen anxiety levels. To what extent, no one is quite sure and every kid is different. But the one area that tech seems to be having the most negative influence on teens is their sleep habits. Your teen needs between 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Less than that and they start racking up a sleep deficit that over time reduces their normal coping abilities and increases adrenaline which intensifies feelings of anxiety.
At a minimum, teens should be required to disconnect by a set-time each night and should not be keeping phones and other devices in their rooms. If they use their phone as an alarm clock, that’s a quick fix. You can pick up cheap ones for under $15 at just about any big box store. If there truly is no way to avoid the tech in their rooms, than use parental control apps out there like Bark that can shut down devices during certain hours that you set.
Beyond the role that tech plays, evaluate if there are other things keeping your teens up at night. Are they up late doing their homework night after night? Maybe it’s time to evaluate their commitments and make some priorities or perhaps they can drop a class and add a study hall.
Listen, Show Empathy and Provide Reassurance
Your anxious teen is fearful of things that they weren’t fearful of before. They have worries that make no sense to them or you. Sometimes they can bust out into tears over the littlest of things, or even nothing at all. This can be a difficult time for a parent who feels like their watching their teen fall apart.
But there is no fast fix for anxiety. It requires time and patience and understanding. You want your teen to share how they are feeling with you and to trust you with these confusing emotions. Sometimes they just need to be able to work through their anxiety by talking about it out loud and getting all those thoughts spinning in their head out in the open.
Instead of trying to figure everything out or getting frustrated, just listen. Hear what your teen is saying during their anxious moments and acknowledge that their struggles are real.
They also need to know that they’re okay and that you’re not disappointed or angry with them. Reassure them that worry is a normal part of life and you’re here to help them work through it.
Introduce Them To Mindfulness As A Way To Mange Their Teen Anxiety
No mindfulness is not some hippity dippity new agey voodoo. Mindfulness for teens, along with its close cousin meditation, can actually change brain chemistry in extremely positive ways. They are becoming a very mainstream way to treat anxiety and multiple studies have now shown that mindfulness can significantly reduce anxiety symptoms.
Practicing mindfulness is a way for teens to learn to stay present in the moment and to keep thoughts from running away from them. It also can help them control the physical reactions that anxious thoughts can provoke.
Also, don’t discount yoga as an effective way to deal with anxiety. Many sports teams now include it as a regular fixture in their training programs.
Since teens seem to like technology so much, take advantage of that fact and have them download a few mindfulness apps to try. These are some of the most popular:
HeadSpace – The founder of this app has a great TED TALK to that would be worth watching and might encourage a little more buy in from your teen.
Let Your Teen Fight Their Own Battles
As much as you might be tempted to rush in and save the day for your children, when it comes to teen anxiety, it’s better if you take a backseat or perhaps the passenger side seat during the process.
If we step in and take over when they start to feel uncomfortable or anxious, we don’t give them the opportunity to learn how to navigate these challenges on their own and they’ll continue to feel powerless.
We can coach them and help them rehearse how they are going to handle certain situations. If they’re feeling overwhelmed, we can discuss priorities with them and assist in making a plan, but we need to let them take the lead.
Once they see that they are equipped to deal with their anxiety on their own, it will help them build self-confidence and the resilience needed for future battles.
Push Gently
Speaking of dropping some activities, it’s not a bad idea to reasses and take a holistic look at your teen’s schedule and look at what they have on their plate. That being said, however, be careful about letting your teen drop activities because they are causing them extra stress and anxiety. Avoidance is not coping.
If your teen has a manageable schedule, then encourage him/her to stay focused on activities that they used to enjoy. Work with them to try and identify what has changed and where the source of the anxiety is coming from and then let them figure out how to get through it.
A little tough love is okay in this instance. Not allowing them to pull out of all social activities will help them face their anxiety without feeling completely overwhelmed.
When To Consider Therapy for Teen Anxiety Treatment
Many parents want to try to help guide their teens through anxiety, but you just may not be armed with the proper tools or knowledge. Finding a therapis or psychiatrist that specializes in teen anxiety is a great person to add to your team while helping guide your anxious teen forward in life.
There are many types of anxiety disorders that teens face, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), Â obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety Disorder, Substance Use Disorders, phobia, and more.
If your teen receives an anxiety diagnosis, don’t despair. There are many effective treatments and support groups for adolescents that can truly help your child. A therapist will help your teen better identify the root cause of their anxiety and will teach them coping mechanisms as well as evaluate whether medication (such as SSRIs) or psychotherapy (such as cognitive-behavior therapy or talk therapy) might be needed.
Overall, it’s important to remember that anxiety isn’t a flaw in your teen’s character and it doesn’t mean that they’re not strong people. It also doesn’t mean you failed as a parent.
Our brains work in very mysterious ways and sometimes it can just be that your teen is wired a little differently.
We recommend Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love by Whitney Fleming. In Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love, blogger Whitney Fleming shares her favorite essays about raising three teenagers in today’s chaotic world. Written from the perspective of a fellow parent, each story will leave you with tears in your eyes and hope in your heart because someone else is saying exactly what’s been going through your mind.
Related Posts:
Teen Test Anxiety; Strategies for Helping Your Teen Cope
Five Empowering Things to Say to Your Anxious Teen (parentingteensandtweens.com)
Social anxiety is big for my 14 year old.