This is a contributed post by Robert Schwartz, Founder/President, yourbestcollegeessay
This summer and fall, rising high school seniors will be writing their college admissions essays. As an essay advisor who has worked with 1000+ applicants, I have witnessed a sea change in their approach to the personal statement and the impact it can have on getting accepted into elite schools. Today’s teens are getting vulnerable in college essays in ways that high school students weren’t willing or able to do before, and it’s working for them.
In the wake of COVID, a teen mental health crisis, “standardized test optional,” and SCOTUS gutting affirmative action, applicants are opening up more about their feelings in their college essays as a way to differentiate themselves from candidates with similar profiles—creating a trend that up and coming applicants should pay attention to.
How Today’s Teens Are Getting Personal in their College Essays
Last year, independent of each other, two of my highest achieving applicants (a girl from the South, and a shy boy from the Northeast) pitched the same essay idea about how their dad’s extramarital affair impacted them. This idea was brave, mature, and deeply personal, which I applauded.
In 2012 when I started my business, typical prompts from STEM kids included stories about their robotics team or about watching an orthopedic surgeon swap out a knee. I often suggested more intimate and personal stories, but applicants were reluctant to be vulnerable—so I didn’t push what was scary or unfamiliar to them. Plus, they were regularly getting accepted to Ivy League schools, so I stopped trying to fix what wasn’t broken.
Those two stories of infidelity were tough to hear. In one, the girl blurted out to her family what her father had done and how she had suppressed the memory. Her essay was about how art therapy saved her, and how her non-profit provides free mental health services for struggling kids. In the other essay, the boy heard his parents fighting, learned what had happened, and wrote about how amidst the family turmoil, his dad suggested they build a backyard deck together—a metaphor for rebuilding their relationship.
Related: The Admissions Process is Broken: 7 Tips to Help Talk About College With Your Teen
An Increase in Applications Has Changed the College Admissions Process
With the recent upheaval in admissions, colleges have seized on the opportunity to accept applicants they previously might not have. Suddenly, it got easier for me to cajole my kids to show vulnerability in their essays. With a whole lot of listening (like a good shrink), these kids started sharing their innermost thoughts, authoring powerful personal narrative essays that can leave an indelible impression.
There was a girl from Louisiana who wrote about her insecurity being tall and thin, and how a body building class helped her to appreciate her body.
There was a quiet, awkward boy from Michigan who wrote about being stuck in a three-hour van ride with nine rambunctious pre-teen girls, and how they succeeded in drawing him out, helping him become a better version of himself.
There was a young woman from Minnesota who umpired girls’ softball. She offered insights about holding onto her authority and self-esteem while the male, 30-year-old coaches ridiculed her.
There was the strong, determined pastor’s daughter who saw that God and religion came with conditions, and how she found, away from the church, a sense of community and belonging in other areas of her life.
There was an only child from New Jersey who wrote about refereeing his parents’ disagreements, and how being a master mediator impacted his academics and extracurriculars.
Related: “Who Gets In and Why” Is a Must-Read for Families Starting the College Admissions Process
Today’s Teens are Looking Inward When Choosing College Essays Topics
These kids are typically more comfortable writing code than writing about their feelings. But they desperately want to change the perception of the nerdy robotics cliché. They are increasingly more open and self-reflective while living with uncertainty, mental health issues, and climate change. And if this is not enough, they are also going through the most stressful thing they have ever attempted: applying to college.
By engaging these kids in the right way, I have watched them become more comfortable unburdening themselves in their personal statements. The stories they share are more likely to address issues and feelings they once ignored. And colleges are looking for this. The two essays about infidelity shared many of the same emotions: relief, satisfaction, and a feeling of accomplishment. Both kids were accepted to Ivy League schools.
Parents tell me they worry about their kids as they venture to college and beyond. But I do not worry about them in the least. Beyond their grades, scores, and academic pursuits, high school students have much to say about their lives in reflective and thought-provoking admissions essays that are making a difference and getting them accepted. Being vulnerable, applicants are learning, isn’t a weakness, but rather a strength.
If you’re looking for additional resources to help you navigate the college admissions process, the book “Who Gets In and Why” by Jeffrey Selingo can help you understand the current state of college admissions.
Parenting teens is a tough job, but you’re not alone. These posts might help:
Watching My Lonely Teen Navigate High School Breaks My Heart
My Teen Won’t Come Out of Their Bedroom
10 Commons Battles that Will Destroy the Relationship with Your Teen
This Is Why Teen Girls Are So Mean to Their Mothers
*This post contains affiliate links where we may earn commissions for items purchased from links on our site.
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