
*The following post is written by Karen Johnson, author of What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up? (And Other Thoughts From a 40-Something Mom).
There’s a common saying about parenting: “We’re all perfect parents until we have kids.” And oh boy, has this rang true for me. I have been served a hefty slice of humble pie on many occasions: My kid will never zone out on screens… My kid won’t eat junk food… My kid will always be well-behaved in public… Wrong, wrong, and… yep, wrong on that too. And now that I have a high schooler, there’s a new one to add to the list. I’ve been saying his entire life, with complete confidence, that he’d have a part-time job in high school—it’s a rite of passage holding that first paycheck in your hand! But so far, it hasn’t happened. Because once again, I have realized how little I knew about parenting teens (until I was actually doing it). And I know now that lots of high school students don’t have time for part-time jobs.
My teen is 15 years old and has been hirable for a while. However, other than chores around our house and the occasional yard work project for a neighbor, he hasn’t “worked” yet in any capacity. You might think he’s lazy (he’s not). You might think we just spoil him (and that depends on how you define “spoiled”—yes, we provide everything he needs and pay for his extracurricular activities). But the truth is, he has a rigorous course-load of all honors and AP classes that often come with an insurmountable amount of homework, plus he’s involved in theater, robotics, and high school tennis that keep him at school until 10 p.m. some nights and consume his weekends.
So no, there has been zero time to fit in a part-time job.
And I did not see this coming.
Today’s Teens Face More Stress in High School
I was a 90s high school kid, and I also took honors and AP classes, played field hockey, babysat, had an active social life, and always (ALWAYS) had a part-time job as a waitress or in retail. However, like many aspects of parenting, things are different for kids today than they were for us, and I’m learning (humbly) that I need to adjust my expectations.
One thing that my kid has going for him is that he’s very focused on his future. For example, he loves theater, but wants to be engineer, so when choosing his classes for freshman year, he had to make a choice—choir or Intro to Engineering (they conflicted). He chose the latter without skipping a beat. Also, although he’s only a freshman, his college search is already in full-swing as he’s begun researching various engineering programs around the country. At 15, he is very in tune with what he wants and what he needs to do to achieve his goals.
That means he understands all too well that the competition to get into top engineering schools is brutal—tougher than ever before. He often says things like, “It’s important that I have a well-rounded experience in high school,” which means he prioritizes theater, robotics, and tennis at different times of the year. He was in his high school play Sense and Sensibility over the winter, which means he missed a lot of robotics meetings. Now, he’s in the robotics room six days a week. Tennis tryouts are coming up, however, which will shift his schedule again.
Related: Why Don’t Teenagers Seem to Make Plans Anymore?
No Hours Are Left for a Part-Time Job
Also, as mentioned, all of his classes are honors or AP level, and his teachers do not *#$! around. Homework is intense. Tests are intense. Finals were intense, with another round on the horizon this coming June. And the pressure to get good grades never lets up.
And, in addition, he understands the importance of volunteering—not only for his college application, but also to make the world a better place. So over the summer of 2023, he traveled to Pittsburgh with our church youth group for a mission trip, and will likely do the same this year.
All of these commitments combined fill up his hours, days, weeks, and months, leaving no time (so far) for traditional work experience. This summer will be his first opportunity, and yes, he plans to jump on it as he desperately needs to start saving up cash for a car. But come September when school starts again and all of his school work and extracurricular activities resume, he will likely have to say goodbye to his boss and co-workers, putting pause on earning his own money until the school year is over.
How Teens’ Busy Schedules Are Affecting the Workforce
That’s just the reality for many of today’s teens, and I’ve noticed how it’s impacting the workforce. After waiting a long time for my prescription at Walgreens the other day, the pharmacist profusely apologized, explaining that they were short-staffed. I responded with kindness, telling her that I worked at Walgreens as a teenager and often helped out in the pharmacy. I knew first-hand how stressful it could get back there, and I knew they were doing their best.
“Yeah, unfortunately, we can’t get any teenagers to work back here anymore,” she lamented. And as a mom of a teen, I think I know a big reason why. There are a lot of reasons for today’s labor shortage—for one, we’re emerging from a pandemic that forced much of the workforce to stay home. Also, workers are leaving minimum-wage jobs for higher-paying options more and more these days.
But also, I think society was relying on teens to take lower-paying part-time work and keep businesses afloat, and for a long time, it worked. But the pressure to earn that “We’d like to welcome you to the class of…” college letter has changed the game for working teenagers. My experience applying to college back in 1997 was nothing like what my kids will go through, and that means shifting their priorities around so they have the best chance to get into their dream school.
Related: How To Help Your Teen With Setting High School Goals
My Teen Doesn’t Have A Job Yet, and That’s Okay
For now, we’ll keep our teen afloat during the school year—doing things I never thought I’d do, like give him extra money to go to the movies with his friends even though he is old enough to have a job. Come June, he’ll apply at grocery stores and ice cream shops and offer to walk dogs, hoping that a couple summer jobs leads to putting some car cash in the bank. And that’s the best we’re doing to do for the next few years, as making the most of his high school experience and checking all the boxes on his college applications is his absolute top priority.
And honestly, I could not be more proud of my kid who proved me wrong and made me realize that, once again, I was wrong about parenthood.
Are you in the throes of raising teens while also figuring out what you’re going to do next once they’ve flown the coop?
Then you should definitely pre-order Karen Johnson’s new book What Do I Want to Be When They Grow Up?: (And Other Thoughts From a 40-something Mom). This book draws upon stories and experiences from Johnson and mothers around her, helping readers seek out new passions, including new career paths, to avoid feeling as if they are solely defined by motherhood.
Parenting teens is a tough job, but you’re not alone. Here are some popular posts that might help:
Teens Hate These Five Questions, So Ask These Instead
Five Effective Strategies to Help Reduce Entitled Behavior in Your Teen
This Is Why Teen Girls Are So Mean to Their Mothers
50+ Awesome and Inspirational Quotes for Teenagers
*This post may contain affiliate links where we earn a small commission for purchases made from our site.
bypl4t
4sb2hr
lzennb
cda8uh
xcatjr
z87m8n
fqaf5y