My daughter Isabel* is now 13 and actively in search of babysitting jobs. (Mostly, she’s actively in search of her own cash source, and since she’s responsible, likes kids, and is only 13, this seems to be the most lucrative option.) And as I’ve helped her network, advertise, and prepare for whatever kids might throw her way (literally or figuratively), I’ve also realized that getting her ready to be a regular babysitter around town has helped her grow up in several ways. Here are five life lessons learned through babysitting that have helped my teen daughter gain confidence and learn how to protect herself and others.
5 Things My Teen Daughter Has Learned While Building a Babysitting Business
1. How to Use Her Voice
The first challenge we faced was that among my three kids, my daughter is the most shy. Both of my other children have no issue walking into a room full of people (even people they don’t know) and being loud, taking up space, commanding attention, and speaking their mind. My daughter, on the other hand, has always preferred to stand in the shadows. When she was younger, working up the courage to order her own meal at a restaurant was a major hurdle. Once, at gymnastics class, after I’d dropped her off, she couldn’t find her instructor because there was a substitute. Rather than going up to any of the other instructors and asking for help, she sat in the corner and waited for me to pick her up an hour later because she was too timid to use her voice.
A good babysitter is not afraid to be assertive
But you can’t be in charge of young children and be tasked with keeping them safe if you are afraid to speak, so we worked on that first. Thankfully, we have a good friend with a toddler named Hannah* whom we see at various sporting and social events throughout the year. My friend (the mom) loved having her little girl be the “practice” baby for my daughter. And, when my kid would take Hannah for a walk, Mom would get a much-needed break! Everyone wins in this scenario! And now that she’s spend a lot of time with this sweet little toddler, their family has called her to babysit—for real—on a few occasions.
However, in order to build that bridge with Hannah, Isabel had to use her voice. She had to approach her (and her mom), try to forge a bond, and offer to take her for a walk. That took courage. Then, when she first babysat Hannah, even though I’m very good friends with their family, I didn’t go inside when I dropped her off. This way Isabel had to speak up. She had to ask questions, ensure she had the parents’ phone numbers in her phone, and voice her concerns all on her own. (And she did! I was very proud.)
Related: 7 Surefire Ways to Boost Your Middle School Daughter’s Confidence
2. How to Market Herself
Another life lesson Isabel has learned through creating a babysitting business is that she has to believe in herself and market her skills. Most of our friends have kids old enough to stay home alone, so I didn’t have a lot of connections to offer her. That’s when we came up with the idea of printing up fliers to drop in mailboxes around our neighborhood.
She wrote up a blurb about herself, and I helped edit it for clarity and readability. We added a picture of her so neighbors could place a name with a face. In addition, we made sure to add a picture of her certificate, verifying that she graduated from the Red Cross Babysitting Course that teaches about CPR and other safety tips. And finally, we added her phone number as well as mine, but I promised her that she’d be in charge of communicating with any potential clients.
3. How to Talk Money
For pay, we decided to put down a negotiable rate based on ages and number of children. If she has to sit with a 8-year-old while he plays video games for an hour, that’s obviously a much different experience than chasing a potty-training 2-year-old around all night long. This will be something she has to handle, as clients may ask her rate. We researched what an appropriate pay scale would be, based on current statistics, but in the end, this is a conversation she will have to navigate with the parents.
Another way I helped along the way is that while she was at school, I ran to Kinkos and printed off copies (and yes, I paid for them to give her a head start) but it was going to be up to her to distribute them. When she got home from school that day, she excitedly grabbed the whole pile and walked three miles around our neighborhood, passing them all out. (We got a call from one mom on Day 1!)
4. How to Keep the Children (and Herself) Safe
Obviously, taking the babysitting class through the Red Cross was a smart way to start babysitting preparedness. We’ve also talked about having her phone in her pocket at all times (not being distracted by it, but having immediate access in case of emergency).
But also, we’ve talked about her own safety as well. It wasn’t too long ago that I wouldn’t let my daughter go to a friend’s house if I didn’t know the parents, and now, she’s trying to get jobs around town that will bring her into homes unfamiliar to her and me. While I support her endeavors to earn her own income and gain babysitting experience, I need to keep her safe, so we’ve talked about what that means.
She has the right to personal space and must practice saying “NO”
For example, one thing I reiterated to her (that I’ve told her many times before) is that she does not ever need to stay in a situation where she feels unsafe—a life skill middle schoolers must understand, talk about, and practice regularly as they become more and more independent. If she and the parents or older siblings are chatting in the kitchen, for example, everyone should keep a respectable distance from her. Once someone comes into her personal space (other than a small child running up to hug her, of course), she has the right to back away and claim autonomy (physically and verbally) over the circle around her. There is no reason for any grownup or older sibling to be uncomfortably close to her at any time.
I also explained that while some of these jobs might be within walking distance, she may be offered a ride home if it’s late at night, cold, or raining. And that it’s perfectly reasonable if Dad or Mom to drive her home (that’s how it always was when I babysat as teen). Most rides home for me were full of awkward small talk and I never felt unsafe, but in the event that she does, again, she has to have her phone readily accessible. And also, she absolutely 100% needs to practice saying the words “NO” and “STOP”—loudly and clearly if someone is putting their hands on her or being unsafe behind the wheel.
Related: Why Teens Don’t Have Time for Part-Time Jobs Anymore
5. How to Call for Backup
When I was 14, I had been babysitting for a sweet little boy for while—an only child at age three. But one day a little baby brother joined the family and my experience went from quietly playing blocks with a chatty toddler / preschooler to rocking a hangry infant in my skinny little semi-pubescent arms. I was overwhelmed and underprepared. So I called my mom. And only when she arrived and helped me calm down the screaming baby was I able to take a breath again. Once we got him settled and asleep, she quietly crept out and went home so I could finish the job on my own, but the peace of mind of knowing she was close by mattered greatly.
One thing teen girls need from their moms is to know that we always have their back, and I will provide that reassurance for Isabel (and the families who hire her). At least for the start of her babysitting experiences, I’ll be close by, watching my phone, ready to help if needed. I won’t text her or call her—I’ll let her call me. But if she needs a little help, just like in any other situation in life, it’s always okay to ask Mom.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy
Looking for a great gift for the tween/middle schooler in your life? Life Skills for Tweens by Ferne Bowe is a great book to get your kid started in acquiring the important skills to be successful in life.
Parenting teens and tweens is a tough job, but you’re not alone. Here are some posts other parents have found helpful:
This Is Why Teen Girls Are So Mean to Their Mothers
The Best Netflix Shows for Tweens and Teens Families Can Enjoy Together
9 Ways Parents Can Help Their Child Build Executive Function in Middle School
10 Common Problems Middle School Girls Face (And How Parents Can Help)
*This post may contain affiliate links where we earn a small commission for purchases made from our site.
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