When my daughter was two, she started picking out her own outfits. Each day, she looked through her drawers with her chubby hands until she found the exact shirt she wanted to wear or the polka-dotted tights she thought to put on with a dress. Friends never believed me when I said she put her look together herself.
At five, she outpaced me in the crafting department. She would follow the picture directions or look at the box and create the finished product while I was still trying to figure out which end was up.
By eight, she started watching YouTube videos of young girls creating elaborate hairstyles, begging me to sit so she could try a new side braid or top-knot bun. If you asked her, one of her favorite gifts she ever received was a mannequin head used by beauty students on her 12th birthday. That was the same year she started making some of her own clothes as well–without patterns.
Now at 18 and working in a salon for the last two years, she has already perfected how to apply make-up and create certain hair styles for brides, understands color, and knows when someone likes something or not. She’s like a beauty savant.
While fashion, beauty and art are her passion, I’m grateful that she is also a strong student. She is as diligent in her studies as she is about practicing the application of lip liner.
There are many different paths for life after high school
Her junior year, a few of her friends were at our house, and I overheard the gaggle of girls talking about what jobs they might want as adults. I was surprised at how serious and steadfast some of them were about their potential career choices already.
I heard, “I want to be a physical therapist, but specifically for sports injuries,” “I took a coding class last summer, so I think it would cool to be a programmer and help businesses create apps,” and “I think I want to do something with environmental businesses.” They talked about the schools their siblings attended or visited their parents’ alma maters. They talked about where they might want to go to college.
Previously, my daughter always responded with: “I may want to be an elementary school teacher because I could do so many crafts!” That day, however, she meekly said, “I wish I could do hair and makeup all the time. That would be the best.”
I wrote off her comment at first. I mean, that’s a tough livelihood, and no one looks at their baby and says, “I hope she grows up to be a beautician.” I had bigger dreams for her, and I thought she had different dreams for herself.
But as my kids and I age, I have started to question what will enable my daughter to grow up into a happy, satisfied, and productive adult. My best friend is in cosmetology and loves it. She doesn’t complain about her job and is happy. I knew I need to shirt my nindset.
And I was not certain a traditional four-year college was it for her.
Related: Six Strong Reasons to Encourage Trade School for Your Teen
More than ever, trade and vocational schools are a viable option
I’m not sure when we dismissed trade and vocational schools as substandard or only for those kids who weren’t “good enough students” to attend a university. I’m not sure when we started believing that using our hands to earn a living was menial and that sitting behind a desk was prestigious. I’m unsure when achieving the American dream meant raising college loans.
But here we are, focused on filling out our kids’ resumes with service hours, AP classes, sports, and extracurricular activities while telling them that their passions for art, cooking, and creating are great “hobbies.”
A few days after that conversation, I started digging for more information about cosmetology. While not as readily available as it used to be, many community and local colleges still offer vocational programs at the high school level. Traditionally these courses only focused on training for skilled labor such as plumbing, electrical engineering, and nursing, but there are now a slew of choices, such as culinary skills, photography, child care, and even fashion and beauty.
There are also many independent institutes that provide affordable and well-rounded classes that help people achieve the skills they need to work in a certain profession.
Along with courses that teach the trade, these programs also offer classes in accounting, business communications, and marketing. Most people can get degrees or certifications in a year or two.
Even better, when I mentioned to my daughter that during high school she may also be able to complete some cosmetology courses, she lit up. “Mom, I’m not sure if this is what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I would love to find out if it is. I’d hate to go to college and then find out I should have been going to cosmetology school instead.”
Related: Three Unique and Personal High School Graduation Gifts
The most important thing is that our teens do something they love
We started discussing non-traditional career paths, such as fashion design and makeup artistry, but I also had her look at careers in fashion merchandising, sales, and even interior design. She went online and found success stories of professionals who made a great living in these sectors, but even more importantly, talked about the fulfillment of following a career path that they loved.
By the middle of her senior year, she was sold. Her plan is to go to a high end cosmetology school for one year, and then receive a vocational business degree from our local community college.
She didn’t let up on her coursework and graduated with strong grades. She took the ACT just in case and even a few advanced placement classes. “I just want options Mom. Just in case.”
Most importantly, she felt confident about her decision, and excited to move forward in this next phase of her life. She is worried she may miss out on some of the social aspects and life experiences of college, but we told her with the money we are saving we may be able to support an independent living situation for her to bridge the gap.
It feels great to tell my daughter that she can be anything she wants in this world, and that may mean following a different path than other students.
And if she becomes a beauty school drop out?
Well, there’s always college.
Whatever path your teen takes in life, they’ll need some basic life skills as they merge into adulthood.
That’s why we recommend Life Skills for Teens: How to Cook, Clean, Manage Money, Fix Your Car, Perform First Aid, and Just About Everything in Between by Karen Harris. In this book, teenagers will learn about all sorts of things adults already seem to know—like car maintenance, how to save money, and even how to know if the meat in your fridge went bad or not!
Raising teens and tweens is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Here are some other posts parents found helpful:
Part Time Jobs for Teens To Help Them Learn To Adult
5 Ways To Help Teens Develop A Strong Work Ethic
We Need to Change the Way We Talk about What Makes a “Good” College Now
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