There are so many times along this parenthood journey that you will feel like you are failing. But for some reason it feels particularly intense during the teen years. You beat yourself up constantly and it’s like nothing you do is ever right. It also weighs so much more heavily on you because it can seem like the consequences of your parenting mistakes have larger and longer lasting consequences.
It also doesn’t help that often your teen is all to happy to constantly point out your failures. They can be so harsh with their words and unforgiving of all the ways you fall short. They almost have an innate sense of your vulnerabilities and they know how to attack with such vicious precision. Teenagers can be masters of cruelty and it can take a toll on you and your relationship with them.
But when you fee like you are struggling or failing in parenting your teen, it’s important to remember that parenting teens is a challenging task. You are not alone in your feelings of failure, almost all parents experience similar feelings at some point. But you are most likely being far too hard on yourself. If you are parenting from a place of love and trying to do the best you can, than that is enough.
Recognizing this can help you put things in perspective and allow you to make some adjustments that will help you and improve your relationship with your teen.
Here are some tips for when you are feeling like you are failing at parenting your teen:
Reflect on your feelings:
Start by acknowledging your emotions and accepting that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure. It’s crucial not to be too hard on yourself and remember that everyone makes mistakes.
Related: Parents Make the Best Decisions We Can and Then Hope for the Best
Open communication:
Initiate open and honest communication with your teenager. Create a safe space for them to express their feelings and concerns. Listen actively, without judgment, and validate their emotions. Regularly checking in and having meaningful conversations can help build trust and strengthen the parent-child bond.
Related: This Is The Type Of Conversation That Will Build Trust And Connection With Your Teen
Seek support:
Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals such as therapists, counselors, or parenting coaches. They can offer guidance, advice, and an objective perspective. Parenting support groups or online communities can also be valuable resources where you can connect with other parents facing similar challenges.
Related: Help! I’m Raising Teenagers and My Village Disappeared
Educate yourself:
Continuously educate yourself about adolescent development, parenting techniques, and effective communication strategies. There are numerous books, articles, and online resources available that can provide insights and practical tips on parenting teenagers.
Related: 5 Essential Parenting Books Every Parent Of A Teenager Needs To Survive
Set realistic expectations:
Understand that teenagers are undergoing significant physical, emotional, and cognitive changes, which can lead to mood swings, conflicts, and boundary-pushing behavior. Adjust your expectations accordingly, allowing room for growth and mistakes. Focus on progress rather than perfection.
Related: Why We Have To Let Our Teens Suffer Through Their Poor Decisions
Encourage independence and responsibility:
Give your teenager opportunities to make decisions and take on responsibilities suitable for their age and maturity level. Encouraging independence fosters their self-esteem and helps them develop important life skills. Offer guidance and support while allowing them to learn from their own experiences.
Related: How Parents Can Know When to Give Your Tween More Freedom
Take care of yourself:
Parenting requires physical and emotional energy, so it’s essential to prioritize self-care. Make time for activities that recharge you, seek support from your partner or loved ones, and ensure you have a support system in place to help you cope with stress.
Related: Three Simple Reasons Why Moms Need To Take Care of Themselves When Raising Their Teens
Remember, parenting is a journey, and it’s natural to face challenges along the way. By being open, seeking support, and adapting your approach, you can find more peace as a parent and build the kind of relationship with your teenager that will create a positive and nurturing environment.
Are you in the thick of raising your tweens and teens? You may like this book by Whitney Fleming, the owner of Parenting Teens & Tweens: Loving Hard When They’re Hard to Love: Essays about Raising Teens in Today’s Complex, Chaotic World.
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