This is 12 and It’s Never Been More Confusing

Oh, my sweet child … he is 12 years old — in all its glory!

His feet are huge, his legs are long, and his hair is a mess (“I like it like that, Mom!”).

His attention is all over the place. He’s sweet and sincere, and then loud and sarcastic. He’s overwhelmed and annoyed, and then nonchalant and happy.

He is my second tween son, so I’ve done 12 before. I was just as confused with that one too, but I assumed it was the newbie mom thing.

But, nope. This is just 12.  

He’s moved into middle school, which means he is surrounded by hundreds of other awkwardly charming tween boys caught in that space between childhood and full on teenager. 

He and his friends love Star Wars, all things Marvel, and watching “Parker Plays.” 

They eat SO many snacks (all day and night) and are constantly making fun of each other’s athletic abilities and other little quirks. They laugh it all off with good humor….for now. 

This is 12.

One minute he is this new mature person wanting to discuss a topic from his civics class, and the next he is laughing at poop jokes.

He is nervous around girls one day, and casually hanging out with one of his besties (who happens to be a girl) the next.

I’ve had The Talk with him, so he knows the dance of the birds and the bees, but he still shakes his head and scrunches his nose if it ever comes up.

This is 12.

Thankfully he doesn’t want to jump ahead and be a man just yet. 

But things are already happening that will lead to that soon, and we’re all very aware. 

And yet, even if he won’t admit it, he’s still the boy who loves watching “DuckTales”with his little brothers and every so often still takes my hand in public without thinking twice about it. 

This is 12.

For a parent, I don’t really know what to expect each day.

Who’s going to come to the breakfast table? The almost-teen with the huge appetite and ever-expanding vocabulary, or the lanky boy who needs a morning hug and some positive reassurance that all is going to be OK?

While I don’t have all the answers, and am taking notes for child #3, I have learned to go with the flow at this age. To just be ready to parent the child who does come to the table — whoever that is on that day.

This is 12.

Sometimes 12-year-olds need to feel like they can stand on their own two feet, and sometimes they need their mama. (I’m secretly hoping that need never goes away.)

So, that’s what we’re doing.

We’re following along on this unpredictable journey as he tiptoes into his teen years. 

We’re there beside him, helping when he needs us. And we step back when he wants to leap by himself.

This is 12.

It’s a puzzling age for sure.

But, I think if I just sit back and watch . . . and shake my head, cry, or laugh when I need to . . . we’re all gonna be OK.

We were all 12 once and we got through it, right?

We got this. Just be sure to keep extra snacks on hand.

This is a contributed post from Dana at 39ishlife.com. She lives in Florida with her husband and four sons. When she’s not running someone to baseball or golf, she is writing, editing, and avoiding the sink of dirty dishes.

*This post may contain affiliate links where we earn a small commission from items we sell to our readers.

Raising tween and teen boys is hard, in case you’re looking for a little more help:

Dear Son, I Picked the Wrong Battle and I’m Sorry

Dear Son at 16, These Are 25 Truths I Want You to Know

What I Want My Teenage Son To Know About Dating Before He Starts

Teen Anxiety; 5 Ways To Help Your Teen Cope

The Best Ways You Can Fight Teen Cell Phone Addiction

Looking for more resources to raising teen sons? Here are a few of our favorites parenting books!

 

Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most from YouRaising Boys in the 21st Century: How to Help Our Boys Become Open-Hearted, Kind and Strong MenHow To Raise A Boy: The Power of Connection to Build Good MenDecoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising SonsRaising Men: Lessons Navy SEALs Learned from Their Training and Taught to Their SonsFourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High SchoolStrong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary MenThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective TeensThe Manual to Middle School: TheThe Manual to Manhood: How to Cook the Perfect Steak, Change a Tire, Impress a Girl & 97 Other Skills You Need to Survive